Ok MM it's like this, prior to an attempt on my life by a bunch of employed people high on coccaine for the simple reason that I had a VW camper and they did not, my work record was that of continuous employment. That is nigh on twenty years of secure employment where I understand I was not liked but retained because I was exemplary at my job, the thinking differently made that so and in the course of the near twenty years employment my illness record stretched to five days in total. But of those years I also served six years in H.M. Armed Forces, again I was not liked, but I was shit hot at my job. On leaving the armed forces, no training given I joined a company and taught myself a trade which I became very good at, so much so I was the target of head hunting by other outfits, but I am a very loyal person and they soon got to know that, but still tried.
I was attacked one night whilst returning from a childrens halloween party I had organised, the attack left me with three broken ribs and head injuries, I had a footprint on my face for weeks after. I was not in a good way, but me being me, I adopted the stiff upper lip and carried on, but the cracks started to show, my marriage suffered, my job suffered, everything suffered to the point I lost the lot and ran away. Later it was found my psychological problems were called post traumatic stress disorder, a cop out to some, but it is very real and very damaging, a condition that has no cure. I got a job doing what I used to do, but found I had lost it, my standards were all over the place and no matter how hard I tried, I was always in the shit with the boss. Eventually I was made redundant and from there the descent into the pit of hell, black depression. Now I live on a cliff top and a pal actually physically stopped me one night from taking that leap into the dark and that was not the last time either.
Now on my psychologists advice I enrolled at college, art therapy and a means of getting me away from my flat, create a routine, get well etc, but I am still reclusive, I still fear the outside world, irrational I know, I even tell myself, but the fear is there, but it is getting better, the more people leave me alone, the more I can work things out for myself. College identified I was a natural teacher as I have an ability to communicate with the learning difficulties people, the full blown autistic students and others, but my lack of progress in my own work prompted an assessment which revealed I had aspergers syndrome, which to be honest I did suspect as it had been insinuated before, long ago. But the examiner complemented me an having the highest level of reasoning ability he had ever seen and an IQ in the top 30 % which to all intents and purposes to me means nothing if one is constantly frustrated with how to live life. What the assesment revealed though, my work problems of the past were due to communication, I am unable to read body language or the nuances of speech, therefore I cannot discern sarcasm and may react offensively if I feel ridiculed, but my forte was my ability to narrow beam focus on a problem and resolve it without error, which also means I never get the bigger picture.
So there it is my story, now if that is my story what are other peoples story, you know those dossers that hang around the park swigging white lightning, the unemployed, the dregs of society, the target for mealy mouthed politicians and corporate media, just what is their story, how did they come to be what they are, for surely it was not a lifestyle choice.
Shit can happen to anyone, no one is immune to the ravages of life and no one knows what is coming in the future, so it is very unwise to attract bad karma by being condeming of those you know nothing about.
What goes around, has a nasty habit of coming around
