Rubbish joke thread

[David B]

Strange sight cycling past a local farm the other weekend - some of the livestock looked like they were wearing football shirts! My eyes weren't deceiving me after all, though - they turned out to be sheep in Wolves clothing....



David

 

[Alison]

Two blondes are walking down the road one says "look at that dog with one eye"

The other blonde covers one eye and says "where"

Alison

 

[xerxes]

Two blondes walk into a bar and ask for a bottle of champagne:

Barman: "What are you celebrating?"

Blonde 1: "Weve just finished a jigsaw puzzle."

Blonde 2: "Only took us 3 months."

Blonde 1: "On the box it said 5 to 7 years!"

 

[lumos2000]

2 blonds walking on opposite sides of a river, one calles to the other

"how do you get to the other side?"

"you are on the other side!"

 

[hamster]

A man walks into a bar and shouts "Ouch!"

It was an iron bar.... :roll:

 

[lumos2000]

What happens when you mix up your Viagra and laxatives?...


It makes you crap in bed!

 

[rider]

I send her forward, saying don't worry, I ketchup!

 

[David B]

Apparently "failure is not an option" according to the old established maxim. So, when starting a game of Scrabble recently and drawing the tiles U,I,L,A,R,E & F, I invariably passed up the chance of 50 bonus points by being able to play all 7 of them.

David

 

[David B]

If you put a DVD of The Apprentice through an office shredder, do you get granulated Sugar?

David

 

[lumos2000]

Woke up this morning saying hobbit hobbit hobbit, then realised I was just Tolkien in my sleep