Rubbish joke thread

[SouthCoastRetro]

whats green has eight legs and could kill you if it fell on you?



A snooker table.






....sorry.





a siamese twin was asked where theyre going on holiday this year and replied....' France, so my brother can have a go at the driving'.

 

[KeepItSteel]

I went to the doctor and said to him ''doctor, every time I look in the mirror I get an erection''

and he said to me ''im not surprised, you look like a tw@t''.




I thank you.

 

[makster]

Al Queda have apparently been planting bombs in tins of alphabet spagetti.
If they start going off, it can only spell disaster

 

[KeepItSteel]

I was confused yesterday, walking down the high street I saw a sign in a shop window stating ''stationary store moving''

 

[Crantinope]

Why did the Baker have brown hands :?:
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Beacause he Kneaded a Poo.

 

[JamesM]

I went to the doctor because I had a park bench on my face, it had a pond next too it with some ducks and a little waterfall.

The doc told me there was nothing to worry about, it's just a beauty spot!!! :facepalm:

 

[cyfa2809]

two nun's in the bath, one says to the other, ''wheres the soap''

the other replies, ''it does doesnt it''

i have never got this?

 

[jonnyboy666]

two nun's in the bath, one says to the other, ''wheres the soap''

the other replies, ''it does doesnt it''

i have never got this?

think "wears out the soap doesn't it?"

 

[cyfa2809]

oh i thought so!
bushy

 

[jimihendrix]

Guy goes into a restaurant, says to the waiter.


"I'd like a T bone please"

"T bone sir, that'll be £1.75"

"£1.75 ?, that's cheap"
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"Yeah, it's £11.50 if you want meat on it"