The good news, the sad news, more sad news, even more sad news, some heroic improv, more sad news, and then the good news.
The good bit:
I was intending riding the Corrieyairack starting from Kingussie and then up the South Loch Ness Trail and back to Dingwall. I was packed and ready to go.
The sad bit:
Wife casually
"I've locked your shed and it won't open"
Me incredulously
"How?"
Wife still casual
"I snibbed it from the inside and then pulled it shut from the outside"
Me stunned
"That's not possible unless you used a lot of force"
Wife indignantly
"Well it was hard to shut"
The shed door usually pulls over easily and snicks shut. Now my wife is not stupid or dumb, but unfortunately she comes from a family who are all very strong and brawn is favoured over finesse. It's why we're still married - I'm scared to misbehave.
More sad stuff:
Well that was the ride stuffed. My gear was in the shed, and I missed my lift. No problem, I'd get the tools out after breakfast, and have the door off in no time.
Even more sad stuff - it's getting pathetic now
So had breakfast, went out to shed to see what tools were needed, back into house to get tools. No tools.
Ring wife
"Where's the household tool set?"
Wife
"I put them in the shed. They were cluttering up the place."
Me - speechless bit....
"Aaaaaargh!"
OK, I could go and buy a set of tools, but my wallet was in my Camelback which was in the ..... yes, shed.
Heroic improvisation bit:
Search of house for tools. Nothing, not even a screwdriver. Then I remembered my lock knife. It used to go everywhere with me, but now was at the back of a crammed drawer where it's lived ever since the govt banned them after discovering they were prone to leap into their owners hands and make them go into a frenzied slashing and killing spree.
Out to the shed. Door impregnable with knife. Side window looked promising. Figured if I could chip out the putty I could remove the pane and get in that way. Putty too hard.
More improv - found a chunk of 2"x2", whittled it down at one end as a handle, shortened it with even more whittling, and using it as a mallet managed to chip out all the putty. But at the expense of the knife - the end broke off when I used too much leverage.
More sad stuff:
The glass of the window was now totally exposed, but still a bit tight in the frame. No problem, a gentle bit of leverage and it started coming out, but stuck. Then a bit more gentle leverage, and out it came. Unfortunately in about six pieces. I was well and truly at the
"F*&&^%&* it!" stage, so I didn't care.
The good news!
Not only did I get in, but even better, it was raining!
Frabjous joy! Dancing round the garden springing in the air and clicking my heels - who wants to go over the Corrieyairack when it's pissing rain? - not me.
So all in all a better day than I thought I was getting.