Ultimate retro mud-plugger?

[Splatter Paint]

To ride in sandy, axle deep goop, to be hosed off and slung in the shed - not pampered. The paint’ll be ripped off by tyre mud, the rims and pads ground to death.

What are the requisites for such a steed?

 

[novocaine]

To ride in sandy, axle deep goop, to be hosed off and slung in the shed - not pampered. The paint’ll be ripped off by tyre mud, the rims and pads ground to death.

What are the requisites for such a steed?

Cheap.

That's it. Everything else in irrelevant.

 

[widowmaker]

Steel

 

[legrandefromage]

Cleland

<runs, hides>

 

[Guinessisgoodforyou]

Whatever you're riding that's old

 

[Splatter Paint]

Err, my ‘modern’ bike is 2010, so everything I have is old!

 

[hamster]

Rigid Singlespeed: fat 1/8" chain that doesn't wear as fast, no fork to maintain, put an inner tube boot round the lower headset, square taper BB. Own choice of brakes, depending on whether discs will last better in your view. If disc then definitely hydraulic.

 

[madjh]

This retro-jewel is the perfect bicycle for that poopy situations. And have fun ... not mood guard required, they are only to show off, you will be covered by that sustance no matter what you wear. Only a small mud guard in front to avoid projections to your eyes and rear to avoid that "diarrhea looking".

 

[DoctorRad]

The paint’ll be ripped off by tyre mud, the rims and pads ground to death. What are the requisites for such a steed?

Powder-coated finish

 

[novocaine]

All these are lovely, but I refer to my first comment. Cheap.
Single speeds comes after you've worn out the gears.
Steel falls into the cheap bracket (I'd maybe spend on an inbred to be honest). Rigid, yep cheap bracket. Cable discs, cheap cheap, like the budgie.

Once more with feeling, cheap.