Surviving life.

[My_Teenage_Self]

Thanks to all for the replies.

There's more to the story that i won't bore you with, but the short story is that about 3 years ago I had a breakdown at work and was diagnosed with depression, but it didn't 'fit' right, and i didn't really have the normal symptoms/patterns (even the typical male 'stuff'). Things did improve through CBT and meds, but i never really bought into it, and i honestly told people if felt more like anxiety and exhaustion.

I have literally never heard of 'burnout' until today, and just googled it. Jeezus. THAT gives me something to work with!

 

[Trialsmeister]

Hi chief. We few, we band of brothers (and sisters) know what you are going through and can empathise, if nothing much better.

I was frontline Ambulance 10 years. In the 2nd busiest station in the UK. Felt unsupported and when arse covering was priority and conditions appalling, with no support, meal breaks or on-time finishes, ever, I walked.
I went through a messy breakup and lost everything, including my wee cat, I rescued from a drug den house and less than 6 months later, she had remarried, to the one that had been keeping her company whilst I was doing 8 to 13 - 12 hour shifts in a row.
I went to cover contract shifts/shortages in London and the East Mids and knocked the arse out it so much, making hay whilst the dough was good, working then in the busiest area in the UK, living in IBiS's and Travellodges for two weeks at a time. Until, one bad maternity job and one moment of seriously high blood pressure, culminated in the kidney stones (my doctors and occy health insisted were "muscular lower back pain") occluded the drainage of my kidney and it burst.

We really don't look after ourselves enough and a single man cannot change the world. I lead a simple life, have another crazy little rescue cat, go trout fishing which stops the brain working overtime (for me anyway), build bikes, throw bikes down hills, to satisfy the demon in me that needs the aggression evacuated. I try to help those around me who can't manage so good. Most importantly, I stopped letting people use me, because they could.
I work one part time job and two voluntary. i think it's about as good as it can get. Maybe the love of a good woman, who could fit in to the quiet existence and wouldn't want to change me, but I am at peace in my own world. ( If Any interested, please be able to fillet and clean fish. She also must have own boat and motor. If interested, I would need a picture of the boat and motor!

Keep your head up and look out for you and your nearest and dearest.
Here if you need to vent, I didn't do it often enough.

M

 

[al-onestare]

Re:

Look in the mirror and ask yourself the questions and you'll get the answers and directions.

 

[greencat]

A good life has the right balance of work, play, love and health. It sounds like your life could be way too skewed over to work. It is very easy to do when you have meaningful, rewarding and challenging work. I've definitely been there - but it can and does lead to burnout.

I would also consider getting your health checked - particularly for any nutritional deficiencies. I've had a lot of problems with insomnia, fatigue, concentration, feeling down, even a little light headedness when getting up sometimes - various bouts over the last few years. I put it down to stress. But I couldn't understand why they persisted even after transferring to a less stressful job and tweaking work-life balance. And my mile times for running were creeping up every week while feeling utterly crap.

Turns out to be anaemia. Since I started iron tablets this last week, I've already felt like my own self again.

 

[dorset boy]

Re: Re:

Look in the mirror and ask yourself the questions and you'll get the answers and directions.

Who is the fairest of them all ?

 

[dyna-ti]

 

[fattiman]

What a FANTASTIC post.
So many people are in a similar position, good to see you have made the changes to make you happy!

Hi chief. We few, we band of brothers (and sisters) know what you are going through and can empathise, if nothing much better.

I was frontline Ambulance 10 years. In the 2nd busiest station in the UK. Felt unsupported and when arse covering was priority and conditions appalling, with no support, meal breaks or on-time finishes, ever, I walked.
I went through a messy breakup and lost everything, including my wee cat, I rescued from a drug den house and less than 6 months later, she had remarried, to the one that had been keeping her company whilst I was doing 8 to 13 - 12 hour shifts in a row.
I went to cover contract shifts/shortages in London and the East Mids and knocked the arse out it so much, making hay whilst the dough was good, working then in the busiest area in the UK, living in IBiS's and Travellodges for two weeks at a time. Until, one bad maternity job and one moment of seriously high blood pressure, culminated in the kidney stones (my doctors and occy health insisted were "muscular lower back pain") occluded the drainage of my kidney and it burst.

We really don't look after ourselves enough and a single man cannot change the world. I lead a simple life, have another crazy little rescue cat, go trout fishing which stops the brain working overtime (for me anyway), build bikes, throw bikes down hills, to satisfy the demon in me that needs the aggression evacuated. I try to help those around me who can't manage so good. Most importantly, I stopped letting people use me, because they could.
I work one part time job and two voluntary. i think it's about as good as it can get. Maybe the love of a good woman, who could fit in to the quiet existence and wouldn't want to change me, but I am at peace in my own world. ( If Any interested, please be able to fillet and clean fish. She also must have own boat and motor. If interested, I would need a picture of the boat and motor!

Keep your head up and look out for you and your nearest and dearest.
Here if you need to vent, I didn't do it often enough.

M

 

[widowmaker]

Re:

Hang in there buddy !!

A lot of us can empathise with you, I was in a similar situation myself a few years ago. A couple of kids, more debts than an honest man could pay off, a busy life working 16 hours days weeks on end with no days off and when I wasn't there my phone would be constantly ringing, surviving on minimal sleep, a diet that was far from healthy, all my hobbies (including cycling) put on hold - yes the money was good but eventually as could be foreseen by most people (including my Wife) except me - I fell apart in a big way. Luckily for me it was just physically and not mentally. A simple cut/infection turned into sepsis and things got a little bit scary and lets just say I used up my 'get out of jail card'

Its not easy to get out of the spiral that lots of us are in, I hope things improve for you. Small steps

 

[Splatter Paint]

Re:

If you can somehow force yourself to get out, or, get the other half to make (nag) you go out, then after 20-30 minutes you’ll be glad you went out on your bike.

Make sure everything is ready to go when you come home from work so there are no excuses. I can’t believe just how much better I feel mentally and physically after riding. I’ve learnt that, personally, when I feel there is no time and I have no focus, weirdly, turning pedals makes it less overwhelming.

Good luck!

SP

 

[Tricky1977]

Hi chief. We few, we band of brothers (and sisters) know what you are going through and can empathise, if nothing much better.

I was frontline Ambulance 10 years. In the 2nd busiest station in the UK. Felt unsupported and when arse covering was priority and conditions appalling, with no support, meal breaks or on-time finishes, ever, I walked.
I went through a messy breakup and lost everything, including my wee cat, I rescued from a drug den house and less than 6 months later, she had remarried, to the one that had been keeping her company whilst I was doing 8 to 13 - 12 hour shifts in a row.
I went to cover contract shifts/shortages in London and the East Mids and knocked the arse out it so much, making hay whilst the dough was good, working then in the busiest area in the UK, living in IBiS's and Travellodges for two weeks at a time. Until, one bad maternity job and one moment of seriously high blood pressure, culminated in the kidney stones (my doctors and occy health insisted were "muscular lower back pain") occluded the drainage of my kidney and it burst.

We really don't look after ourselves enough and a single man cannot change the world. I lead a simple life, have another crazy little rescue cat, go trout fishing which stops the brain working overtime (for me anyway), build bikes, throw bikes down hills, to satisfy the demon in me that needs the aggression evacuated. I try to help those around me who can't manage so good. Most importantly, I stopped letting people use me, because they could.
I work one part time job and two voluntary. i think it's about as good as it can get. Maybe the love of a good woman, who could fit in to the quiet existence and wouldn't want to change me, but I am at peace in my own world. ( If Any interested, please be able to fillet and clean fish. She also must have own boat and motor. If interested, I would need a picture of the boat and motor!

Keep your head up and look out for you and your nearest and dearest.
Here if you need to vent, I didn't do it often enough.

M

Not wishing to hijack this thread but this is a great story and even better advice!