Rubbish joke thread

[mullinino]

A

Last night i bought an extremely attractive Thompsons Gazelle on Ebay for £54 000....

Pretty deer.

 

[BarneyRubble]

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife Maria Shriver have separated; apparently in the divorce settlement she wants his clothes, his boots and his motorcycle!

 

[David B]

Two gooseberries sitting in the pub. One says to the other: "I tell you, I'm not going round that Delia Smith's house again. She tried to make a fool out of me!"



On a puddings-related note, one for the scientists;

Q. How do you make rhubarb crumble?

A. Dunk it in liquid nitrogen.

David

 

[JamesM]

Why are there no nails in a lesbians coffin?

Because it's all tongue and groove!!!

 

[JamesM]

I went to the gym the other day, they have a new machine. I went on it for half an hour and was nearly sick. I still think it's good though, it's got Twix's, Mini Cheddars, Mars bars, Toffee Crisps and loads more!!!

 

[sylus]

went into a bar tonight and asked the bar man to suprise me, he said would you like my new cocktail an osama?

what's that bud?

2 shots and a splash

 

[Buzz1024]

what did the man with downs syndrome call his dog?
.
.
.
.
.
mmmmnnnwwwwaaaaaahhh!

 

[David B]

In the current climate of government cuts etc., all sorts of bodies and organisations are finding that their funding has been curtailed or even got rid of completely; in sport recently, West Ham's grant was axed after being under threat for a while....

David

 

[feetabix]

whats got four legs and sits in the corner going ssssshhhhhh?











rod hull's telly......

 

[rogerthecat]

Dinosaur

What do you call a one eyed dinosaur?






A Dooyathinkhesaurus


Coat and hat on, heading for the door