Rubbish joke thread

The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.

"Stay there baby", she said to me, "while I nip upstairs and put it on to show you."

She came back down, opened the living room door and stood before me.

"Wow love, that's a winning costume if ever I've seen one.", I told her, "That's the most convincing killer whale outfit I've ever seen."



"I'm a f****** nun''
 
I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and told my friend, "That'll be us in another 10 years."

He said, "That's a mirror, you dickhead."
 

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