Funny, Scathing, Sarcastic Bike Wit True or Not - Don't care!

[Janners BJJ Clunker Rider]

Heard a scathing comment? Seen a funny one liner? Have your favorite put down?
If it's bike related stick it here and make coffee breaks fun.

I'll start.

"Any idiot can ride a bicycle, it takes a special idiot to do it again"

 

[MattiThundrrr]

If we're doing humor, we may as well get the master out of the way early.
"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it. If you live."
Mark Twain

Samuel Clemens learned to ride a high wheel bike while waiting for Huckleberry Finn to be published. Obviously, there's humor to be found there.
"Clemens' riding instructor wrote that his pupil had discovered more ways to fall off a bicycle than the man who invented it. Clemens himself claimed that he had invented all the bicycle profanity that had since come into common use"

https://www.bikingbis.com/2010/04/2...icycle/#:~:text=“Get a bicycle.,If you live.”

 

[Janners BJJ Clunker Rider]

"Disc brakes - For the weak fingered"

It somehow sounds derogatory while sort of not.

 

[MattiThundrrr]

Not exactly bicycle related, bicycle adjacent, as I'll be sliding into the grave on a bike:

 

[MattiThundrrr]

One more piece of advice for us mortals from the fearless:
"Faster, Faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death."
Hunter S. Thompson

 

[canny colin]

I came home to find my lover laying on the bed , dressed in seductive lingerie . She purred " tie me up and do any thing you want ". So I tied her up and went cycling . Pass me that coat Bonny lad .

 

[FMJ]

"Faster, Faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death."
Hunter S. Thompson

John Parker was fond of that one.

 

[legrandefromage]

*humour

 

[Siish]

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you

 

[FMJ]

The version I've always heard is "It's not the speed that kills you. It's the sudden stop."