But ultimately the Torque required might be more than the wheel can take - we've had a few of these. it's almost always a cheap freehub like this - probably fitted dry with a rattle gun, and they don't want it to ever come off anyway.
In this case you'll kill the rim, and the spokes won't be that clever.
So when you've tried to the point you feel the rim bending, just unlace that wheel, recycle the hub and rebuild with another, better one. cheap to find!
It doesn't need to be exactly the same flange size - on a 3 Cross, 1cm of flange difference makes only about 1mm spoke length difference.
Loadsof choice.