Drugs.

[videojetman]

I know anther contentious subject, but really I'm just venting my frustration.
I grew up around drugs nothing serious. Just my dad trying to be an amateur drug dealer.
Dabbled a bit myself but grew out of it around mid 20's
Seen my brother sink into a decade of heroine addiction.
Now being a parent of 4 grown up children, I watch helplessly as my youngest (now 16)
Lying in a hospital bed from dodgy ecstasy, luckily he will be fine.
But the last year has really been an eye opener to what my youngest son and his peer group are up against.
We have a counsellor lined up in a week for him.
But I think it is all linked to an experience he had last year where he found a friends aunt hanging.
But I feel the future is very uncertain for my son if things don't change drastically.
We have tried so many things to prevent him from using things like ketamine & ecstasy.
They work for a few months but he seems to return to what he finds familiar.
I could go on and on but I'm really after some kind of support as I don't go on any other forums or Facebook or any of the other modern social media outlets.
I would like to keep this as positive as possible, and hopefully no one will feel the need to start judging anyone.
So I'm off to the gym to take my frustrations out on the weights.
Jeff.

 

[k-rod]

Re:

Dang dude, that's pretty heavy stuff. And not that I am some sort of expert, or anything ... but I have learned over time, that the best thing you can do is ensure that your son knows and understands that you love him unconditionally, and are there for him no matter what (not that you'll let him take advantage of you, but I mean in a positive/functional way). Just knowing that you have his back and care for him, can make all the difference in the world.

The worst thing you can do, is dump on him, judge him, ride him hard, nag on him, or try to push or guilt or cajole him into doing something. When he is ready, he will grow and evolve and change ... and if he knows that you are still emotionally and intellectually supporting him ... he will pull out of the pit of darkness.

that said, perhaps some professional counceling, therapy, or guidance might help him moving through the inner struggle/turmoil ...

good luck to you both ...

 

[videojetman]

Re: Re:

Dang dude, that's pretty heavy stuff. And not that I am some sort of expert, or anything ... but I have learned over time, that the best thing you can do is ensure that your son knows and understands that you love him unconditionally, and are there for him no matter what (not that you'll let him take advantage of you, but I mean in a positive/functional way). Just knowing that you have his back and care for him, can make all the difference in the world.

The worst thing you can do, is dump on him, judge him, ride him hard, nag on him, or try to push or guilt or cajole him into doing something. When he is ready, he will grow and evolve and change ... and if he knows that you are still emotionally and intellectually supporting him ... he will pull out of the pit of darkness.

that said, perhaps some professional counceling, therapy, or guidance might help him moving through the inner struggle/turmoil ...

good luck to you both ...

Thanks for the reply.
We are really giving him our love and understanding, along with long talks / lectures about the bad effects of certain substances.
We are really playing this by ear at the moment.
But one things my son knows is we will never reject or turn him away.
This is just one of every parents nightmares.

 

[shed]

the one thing i will say is that if there is an underlying reason professional help will deffo help but as they say it will get worse before it gets better as they really bring the past up and various reasons why he is doing it,just show as much love as you can and all been well you will see it through as a family

 

[videojetman]

Thanks shed, much appreciated.

 

[shed]

we had to see a counsellor with my daughter and it was quite upsetting for her to go through parts of her life she didnt want to but it seems to have helped and now shes much better so just be there for him and be prepared to talk things through

 

[pigman]

Re:

and I sit here moaning about how my two teenage boys never do anything - don't really go out, don't chase girls, haven't had a crafty drink, nothing.

maybe I need to keep quiet and thank the gods that I (and them) have it easy

hope it works out for you all fella

 

[technodup]

I would guess ending up in hospital should make him think twice about doing it again, I know it would for me. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to drugs and in particular have taken more E than some people have had hot dinners.

Although when I say that I remember when Leah Betts died it was apples she had. Next week all we wanted was apples because they must be strong! So who knows what goes on in your teenage mind.

Some say I was lucky, others that it was BITD when they were better/safer/weaker/stronger whatever but fact is statistically it's one of the safer drugs out there. Taken in the right dose, with adequate water etc. Not that that helps you or him right now.

I don't have the answer here, I don't have kids, but keep him away from smack and it should sort itself out*.

*There's a reason I'm not a counsellor.

 

[k-rod]

I would guess ending up in hospital should make him think twice about doing it again, I know it would for me. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to drugs and in particular have taken more E than some people have had hot dinners.

Although when I say that I remember when Leah Betts died it was apples she had. Next week all we wanted was apples because they must be strong! So who knows what goes on in your teenage mind.

Some say I was lucky, others that it was BITD when they were better/safer/weaker/stronger whatever but fact is statistically it's one of the safer drugs out there. Taken in the right dose, with adequate water etc. Not that that helps you or him right now.

I don't have the answer here, I don't have kids, but keep him away from smack and it should sort itself out*.

*There's a reason I'm not a counsellor.

Here in North America, we have a Fentanyl problem where hundred of drug users are dying because of it being cut into other drugs, and yet still both the junkies and the high-school weekenders are risking popping the pills in spite of all the deaths. Shit, walk down the East Hastings area and the junkies are sitting on the city sidewalk in bright daylight, with needles sticking out of their arms (and necks) ...

Its a fucked up world. I'm glad I grew up when I did.

 

[k-rod]

:?: