Worst Bike I Ever Had

[Canuk]

Someone brought this to my door (you know what happens when people see you in a different bike every week...) It's an ALPQQQ gravel route bike.

Of course it is. Only it's none of the above.
The entire thing is made out of various grades of shitty steel. On my scales it's coming in at 41lbs of shite... I tried my best to get this thing up and resurrected but I was up against superior technical knowledge.

The kind of knowledge that makes wheels impossible to true and brakes impossible to stop rubbing and do what they're supposed to do. This bike was a death trap. The guy that bought it was dead chuffed he scored a brand new gravel disc bike for 299.99

There's the warning flag right there. I managed to get a decent set of second hand wheels for it and the brakes about able to stop, but what a clusterf#ck these buggers are. Carbon fibre me arse.

They go by different names and brands on Amazon. But it's the top shifts that give it away.

This is definitely the worst bike I never owned.

 

[Tootyred]

Offroad proflex 750 xc pro. In 1990/91...hailed as a revolution. It was a pile of poo.

Whilst I applaud the brave move, it really really didn't work. Rear shock...didn't. Front shock on stem...made for vague and frankly scary feeling ride. Weight..twenty hundred kilo or something stupid.

But it did cement my love of suntour xc pro which came on it. Frame sold 6 months later....kit...well some of it i still have!

 

[Canuk]

Worst off road bike had to be a Diamond Back. Can't remember the model but it came with these god awful Bomber forks, mine were plain black with no logo. Air oil they said, absolute joke. I don't know how many hours I wasted taking them apart and rejigging.

Can't stop you laughing though!

 

[Canuk]

Bomber SX

 

[zerogravitas]

Someone brought this to my door (you know what happens when people see you in a different bike every week...) It's an ALPQQQ gravel route bike.

Of course it is. Only it's none of the above.
The entire thing is made out of various grades of shitty steel. On my scales it's coming in at 41lbs of shite... I tried my best to get this thing up and resurrected but I was up against superior technical knowledge.

The kind of knowledge that makes wheels impossible to true and brakes impossible to stop rubbing and do what they're supposed to do. This bike was a death trap. The guy that bought it was dead chuffed he scored a brand new gravel disc bike for 299.99

There's the warning flag right there. I managed to get a decent set of second hand wheels for it and the brakes about able to stop, but what a clusterf#ck these buggers are. Carbon fibre me arse.

They go by different names and brands on Amazon. But it's the top shifts that give it away.

This is definitely the worst bike I never owned.

Horrendous. These piles of junk are amongst the biggest crimes against bicycles at the moment (these or cheapo E bikes that burn your house down)! There is something particularly horrible about how they imitate the silhouettes and branding of race bikes whilst being about a million years from one. They make me think of an AI impression of a real bike.

Your images have some superb copy;

Claw angle handle design
Imitation carbon fiber bandage horns can better absorb sweat and relieve fatigue during long-distance riding

Quality.

 

[Canuk]

'Imitation carbon'.... ie plastic.

 

[Gtpulse]

“Full suspension” BSO from Decathlon in Carcassonne, the cheapest they had. To use at a friends house while there on hols. There wasn’t a single good thing about it apart from the moment when I got off it and left it there never to be seen again.

 

[Wyndbrook]

The worst bike I've ridden since childhood was definitely a 'mountainbike' I hired for the day on Sark.
The worst bike I've owned maybe a bike I picked up a hour ago from my local fee site. Will need investigating in daylight tomorrow.

 

[Mike Muz]

My first in 87. Now I know far better and afford them too.

View attachment 907120

I can see why that would be the worst road bike you've ever had as well

 

[Wyndbrook]

Thankfully no lobsters

I'm just about remember that sketch, takingabreak mentions the Winston Churchill bogey one, there were several others just as bad or amusing.