Things which were made of cheese. The nightmare recalled.

[novocaine]

Stilton

 

[BlackCat]

Mavic 230s. Could not keep those things in true.. Seemed to spend my teenage years rolling round with one or other cantis unfastened - and asking ride buddies if they thought you could survive “this hill” without the front brake!

Specialized umma gumma grips (maybe “S-Works”). Super comfy but the raised letters just pealed off after a ride or two and they looked awful.

For some reason my bro burned through m737 cranks like they were made of cheese. He did ride like an animal though. Maybe an unfair inclusion to this shameful list..

 

[al-onestare]

Kona Tracks 2s, with the excellent feature of sliding fork blades to tackle bumps on the trail.

Kona Z-Link forks, with the amazing feature of uncontrollable rebound under braking.

Shimano XTR vbrakes (first gen), with the special extra squealy-flex feature, sadly lacking on later releases.

 

[trailwright]

Orange aluminium E4 frame rear mech hanger mount - about as sturdy as the foil that wraps cheese triangles and very poor design. Flexed when shifting gears (and eventually failed)

American classic seat post bolts - threaded cheese straws

Ritchey's original pro pedals (the golden ones) - looked fantastic but has cheese bearings that ate themselves after a couple of hard mashes

Air B inner tubes - about as puncture proof as mozarella. I mind they were covered in lots of talc and smelt good out of the box though.

 

[2manyoranges]

Orange aluminium E4 frame rear mech hanger mount - about as sturdy as the foil that wraps cheese triangles and very poor design. Flexed when shifting gears (and eventually failed)

American classic seat post bolts - threaded cheese straws

Ritchey's original pro pedals (the golden ones) - looked fantastic but has cheese bearings that ate themselves after a couple of hard mashes

Air B inner tubes - about as puncture proof as mozarella. I mind they were covered in lots of talc and smelt good out of the box though.

Ah the memory of the smell of AirBs. Very rubbery and latexy....
Ah the talc all over my hands. And the floor. And the cat.
Ah the sound of air rushing out of them after a snake bite on a rutted downhill.
Ah the memory of the huge splits in them - not so much punctures as outward explosions...rip rip rippety rip....

AirB and the search for extreme lightness.
Goodness we had light bikes
No wonder they broke.
And bent.
And let us down all the time.

 

[trailwright]

Ah the memory of the smell of AirBs. Very rubbery and latexy....
Ah the talc all over my hands. And the floor. And the cat.
Ah the sound of air rushing out of them after a snake bite on a rutted downhill.
Ah the memory of the huge splits in them - not so much punctures as outward explosions...rip rip rippety rip....

AirB and the search for extreme lightness.
Goodness we had light bikes
No wonder they broke.
And bent.
And let us down all the time.

So true. I don't know why they were so prone to snake bites.

 

[Carge]

Too much cider is known to be detrimental to latex tubes

 

[dirttorpedo]

The Halston Inversion fork. My best riding buddy had one on his Trek 950 and it had maybe a 1/2 inch of travel at best. Still wasn't a flexy piece of shite.

 

[retrobikeguy]

Onza porcupines in white....... Genuinely made of parmesan.... Anyone behind you was blinded as you sprinted ahead in the sun .... If they didn't lose rubber on the terrain, they dried and dicipated like dandelion sundials in the air..... Jus sayin

 

[player]

I think the Tioga Disc drive should go high up on this list and especially as the retail price of the things weren't exactly cheap. We all wanted one bitd and when we did actually buy them they didnt last that long if regulary ridden and raced and of course right now some people are even paying way over the top for knackered ones but thats another story.