Strangest thing you've seen on a bike ride?

[MarinMartin]

Nearly sh*t myself on a night ride once when I was riding through the woods and someone had dumped a broken old headless mannequin in the hedge. Safe to say that was the quickest I've ever ridden that section

 

[Suprachrgd82]

The homeless are a problem here in the greater Los Angeles area. End of last summer we were on a family bike ride making a bridge crossing by the river trail. There was a homeless woman at the far end of the bridge...mentally ill, on meth, or both. She was absolutely enraged at an A-frame road construction sign. Yelling at the sign, cursing, pacing around it, giving it the stink-eye, finally kicked it over and walked away shaking her head. All I could do was tell my kids "that is why you don't do drugs".

I make sure our bikes have lightweight XT derailleurs and aluminum nipples in the wheels but I carry a 2lbs spring baton. Go figure.....

 

[7Speed]

Night ride in Surrey with a few guys from the local cycling club. Stopped to find the trail turn and one of the guys decided to take a pee - only for the bush he was standing next to tell him to stop what he was doing. Suddenly we were surrounded by a dozen of our finest soldiers laughing their heads off. Made us all jump a bit. They also knew exactly where the trail was…

 

[Frankenorange]

Night ride in Surrey with a few guys from the local cycling club. Stopped to find the trail turn and one of the guys decided to take a pee - only for the bush he was standing next to tell him to stop what he was doing. Suddenly we were surrounded by a dozen of our finest soldiers laughing their heads off. Made us all jump a bit. They also knew exactly where the trail was…

I had kind if the same experience many, many, years ago whilst out in some woods, on baby motocross bikes. We arrived , mates dad unloaded the bikes, filled them up, and we zipped around a large dirt track, for a couple of hours, with breaks for fizzy pop. The track was pretty much just a circular sandy singletrack , in amongst the heather.

We had stopped for a packet of crisps and all of a sudden a soldier, covered in bracken and ferns, rises up out of the ground in the middle of this area we had been hooning around. We were gobsmacked. He came over to us and asked if we had noticed him and the others and we were like, wot others?.
So; he whistles and a good dozen more stood up. It was pretty cool for us kids to see and we got to handle the guns and root around in some ration packs . They were also happy to have not been seen, for all the hours they had been there, by quite alot of visitors.
It was a, very, hot day and they had been there under the sun, in full kit, for quite a while. Long before we got there. Just laying there in their own p!ss watching all and sundry having a happy saturday. They said the tough bit was watching people drinking and eating.

 

[Attempted Mustache]

Some years ago whilst riding the trails in 50 Acre Wood (near Leigh Woods/Ashton Court) I came across a young lady draped provocatively around a tree. No more than a few yards from the trail, she was nude from the waist up - being photographed by a chap, presumably her boyfriend.

She seemed unperturbed, I may even have gotten a wink. They made no attempt to scarper. I resisted the urge to do another loop.

 

[db95]

Gonna go ahead and say a toilet - I don't mean a public toilet, the remains of some WW2 era toilet pit or the result of flytipping, I mean a brand new fully boxed toilet sitting square in the middle of a country lane that very rarely sees any vehicles. My first thought was that it'd fell out of an open boot/van/etc but there was absolutely zero damage to the box. Shifted it to the side of the road, came back the same way an hour later and it was gone

 

[hamster]

Early Sunday rides in the New Forest seem to bring in the best of what's left over from Saturday's action. One layby had a pair of thigh-length red patent leather stiletto boots.

Running Scouts' MTB rides there is a blacklist of dogging laybys we always have to route to avoid.

 

[legrandefromage]

my reflection.

 

[7Speed]

Early Sunday rides in the New Forest seem to bring in the best of what's left over from Saturday's action. One layby had a pair of thigh-length red patent leather stiletto boots.

Running Scouts' MTB rides there is a blacklist of dogging laybys we always have to route to avoid.

You are not doing us Essex-boys any favors with that post @hamster