Great Alan Partridge quotes

[videojetman]

"I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny"? No. You'd say 'You look nice... John'"

 

[shinobi]

"I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny"? No. You'd say 'You look nice... John'"

 

[SIMONFREESE]

'Hi Susan, I was a bit bored so I dismantled my Corby trouser press. I can't put it back together again. Do you think that will show up on my bill?'

 

[BobToo]

Monkey Tennis.

Another of his suggestions from that episode was Cooking in Prison, which really did get made a couple of years ago.

 

[pete_mcc]

Re:

Hi Susan, can you make pornography come on my television, please?

Jurassic Park!

 

[66 triumph daytona]

You force feed beef burgers to swans.