Absolutely couldn't have put it better myself. You care that you feel this way about things in your life so that's a good foundation for a start. Also agree that it would be worth seeking some qualified support as some medicinal assistance may be in order in the short term. Plenty of us have been where you are, and beyond and know that there are many lights at the end of the tunnel. Keep talking, even if it's just to randoms on RB!The point is all these things bother you, if you read what you've written & you see what I see a lot of what's bothering you is because you care about the people around you which clearly makes you one of the few good people left on the planet.
But, you need to get some proper help, you can't do this on your own.
The fact that you accept it & share it is the first step to treating it. Get to your G.P, search support groups in your area there are lots for us guys these days.
Don't suffer in silence, if you can fix your bike you can learn to fix yourself.