Christmas cancer

[joe careless]

A month before Christmas my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer, I came to collect him for his first Christmas in my family home, to meet his 5 year old granddaughter whom he's only seen once ( her mother attempted to enstrange the paternal family, which failed but has entailed a year long family court battle) when she was weeks old. A wonderful time has been had, Dad has surpassed himself in grandfatherly duties to my "adopted " son too and it's been heartbreaking at times, wish he'd been able to take up the baton earlier.
We journeyed by train together in part because he's disabled but mainly I want to spend time with him following some of our footsteps, it's been nice.

Myself I have found i have needed the arms of Mrs Careless to quietly lessen the heartache of knowing Dad's health outlook and have found myself in my workshop once and went from wanting to show him all of the bikes and items I've built before he sets off,yet he just can't physically get to the door & so I carved him a small whale out of larch to give to him to carry to his treatment sessions, his smile on receipt of it buoyed me up.

When I used to go on operations I never said goodbye to him just "see you later" and over the journey home he talked about his fears of me being lost, pride and joy when he would hear my key in the front door announcing my return.
We are getting to talk to each other, share memories, create new ones but one day I'll turn my front door key and he won't be there in his chair.

I have had a good Christmas with my dad and my little family, given him joy, kept him safe on the journey and shown him he's loved.

I'm thankful for my Mrs she has incredible strength, I'm thankful for the mission man that has helped me deal with my ptsd issues borne of operational experiences, but above all I'm glad I have a bicycle because they saved my life I needed.

 

[highlandsflyer]

Re:

Very eloquent. Your father is a lucky man to have you. All the best.

 

[M-Power]

Re:

Agree with HF. Life catches up fast with all of us as we get older. Sometimes you wish you could stop time for a while just to figure things out and make amends if needed. Hope you get as long as possible with your dad. I think about mine all the time now ive reached the age he passed away at. GB.

 

[highlandsflyer]

Wonderful sentiments.

 

[kingbling]

Wonderful sentiments.

2nd you can't say anymore all the best.

 

[DynaCol]

Re:

Never a great time of year to find out a family member has cancer but over Christmas seems particularly horrible. The thought of them not being there anymore is one none of us want to think of but it is an inevitability we all must deal with at some point. Been going through the same thing over the past few months with my father too, feel so helpless and just wish I could make it all go away for him and my mother.
Cherish the time you have with them. I find just spending time with them or taking care of the mundane things in life so they don't need to worry about those things is enough so they can focus on getting better.
I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to live with my folks again for a couple of years when I moved back to Scotland for work a few years back and didn't have my own place sorted out. It's a time I really look back fondly on and made me really appreciate them even more.

 

[joe careless]

Last Wednesday I took my dad to his 6 post radiotherapy review and fingers crossed things seem to be on the right track to recovery, it was also my 43rd birthday. My small family and I made the long trek to him and we all had a positive time.

In a bit I'm going to the pub on the Overbury's Crossfell with a couple of miles riding to justify/earn those beers.

 

[brocklanders023]

Re:

Great news mate. I hope you and your family are feeling a bit more positive with this news.