Choosing a best man...

Rumble

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Righto, I'm getting married next year and I'm struggling to choose someone to ask to be my best man. It's not that I don't have close friends, just that I can't choose between them. I'm also not very traditional and would quite happily not have one but the future Mrs Rumble has made it clear that this is not acceptable to her! So, the options (and problems) are...

1: My brother. This would be my natural choice, I'm closest to him of all my family. Problem is, I have another brother who I don't want to offend. Not only that but my family is split into 2 very distinct halves who are at best indifferent to each other and at worst openly hostile. The brothers are both fine, not part of the problem, but chosing one over the the other would incite the other side.

2: Mate A. Friend for over 10 years, lived with him at uni so lots of shared history, lots of common interests and a genuine lifelong friend. Problem here is that he's been best man for a few weddings fairly recently, including next year for my other mate, who we'll meet in a minute. Other issue is that he would certainly organise an epic stag do, weekend abroad etc. I simply don't want a stag do, don't like being the centre of attention and if absolutely necessary would just do a bothy weekend or something. Mate A is open in his opposition to this and would go big regardless, as he has done for Mate B.

3: Mate B. Same background as Mate A, we all shared flats at uni, again a really lovely guy who I'd trust with my life (same goes for Mate A though). Problem is that chosing him would potentially upset Mate A (although I'm not sure of that) and that although I really didn't mind him not chosing me for his best man (apparantly I was a close 2nd), if I'm honest I'd feel a bit odd asking someone who didn't ask me.

4: Mate C. Known since school, still good mates with him but he's got many other, more social, friends who he doubtless sees more than me. He's the rank outsider here as I'd rate A and B as slightly closer friends and he's another who has (rightly) chosen someone else as his own best man.

Hmm... that's all a bit rambling isn't it? Any advice, serious or otherwise gratefully receieved. I know it's not the biggest problem in the world but I'm not usually this indecisive! I've tried thinking of some creative solutions but my suggestions of asking the cat or a random celebrity (Terry Wogan would have been a good option) aren't acceptable either!

PS I hope no one that knows me reads this as it's not going to take much to connect the dots!
 
I had 2 best men and they made up a quarter of the wedding party between them. Not sure if that helps you? :lol:
 
Hadn't actually thought of that... might work... a kind of obvious cop-out but could get me off the hook...
 
Tough choice.
The brother option is always a good one to get you off the hook if you have a few mates to chose from, but it might get you more on the hook in your situation.

I would go for mate B. As mate A is and has done the BM duties a few times he would probably be relieved to attend a wedding just as a guest. Even though B picked A as his BM, seems OK to me for you to have B as yours. I have a group of mates where I don't think one of us has been BM for a mate while he was yours! It's all been swapped about. The final piece will be the next wedding where the guy who had the guy I was BM for as his BM finally gets to be a BM for another mate who was BM for another guy.

Me, I had a really small wedding so the two guys who I have been BM for were the only friend guests of mine though neither was BM! Bodyswerve there, eh! :lol:

On top of the politics, remember your BM has to be reliable, trustworthy, able to deal with problems on the day so you don't have to worry, able to calm you down when you are crapping yourself, etc, etc, etc.

As for the stag do, I reckon what you want goes, no matter who you pick!
 
Keep the peace - have the two brothers do it, a few friends of mine have had two best men, it's not as bonkers as you'd imagine.

One thing to note about weddings though is there is ALWAYS some conflict of interests between friends or family at some point, just try your best to keep it to a minimum! Good luck!
 
Mate A and mate B. Put mate B in charge of the stag do and put mate A in charge of sleeping with the bridesmaid. He sounds like he'd enjoy that. Put both your brothers in penguin suits and call them ushers.
 
Good point about letting Mate A off the hook to just have a good time on the day, that puts Mate B in the lead I think. I thought I'd narrowed it down to Mates A or B but now I've got another option of brother x2!
 
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