So must be a Friday 
THE WORST THING TO SAY WHEN RUNNING FOR U.S. PRESIDENT
I intend to withdraw from Iraq, and invade some real pussies... like Spain.
Hi there, I'm like George Bush, only less intelligent
I will never forget the terrible events of 9/12.
Now I know what you're thinking, a Sagitarrius for President? But I have Leo rising.
Yes, I've smoked marijuana, and I inhaled... just now.
There are no skeletons in my closed, just a black latex dildo suit.
I would like you to call me... President... Showaddywaddy
I have a magnificent war record - it's 'Pipes Of Peace' by Paul McCartney.
Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail.
UNLIKELY LINES TO HEAR ON A SCIENCE PROGRAMME
After working on the equation for thirty years, Professor Stephens made an incredible discovery - his wife had left him and he'd wasted his life.
The trade in human organs is shocking - this kidney cost me nearly a tenner.
Today we're going to be making a bomb using chapatti flour and hydrogen peroxide.
Which is faster, a dog or a crossbow bolt?
And that's how God created the world in seven days.
I escaped from a petri dish! What am I?!
Hello. My name's Jade Goody.
And that is how we can prove that aluminium is gay.
A cure for acute depression may be just around the corner. Oh here it is - a train.
And, as the mighty lion shakes the life out of this tiny gazelle, I feel strangely horny.
Well, that test was conclusive - cats have one life.
UNSETTLING THINGS TO HEAR FROM THE COCKPIT OF A PLANE
Thank God we're flying, I'm too pissed to drive.
We're about to experience a little bit of turbulence, and then a lot of falling.
This is the captain speaking, we're out at the moment, please leave a message after the tone.
Don't panic, just think of it as landing more vertically than normal.
Help me with my seatbelt Abu, I can't do it with this damn hook.
OK Captain Thomas, when I tap the windscreen, I want you to stop.
Wagner's 'Flight of the Valkyries' from 'Apocalypse Now'
If you look out over the right wing, you'll see the burning remains of the left wing.
THE WORST THING TO SAY WHEN RUNNING FOR U.S. PRESIDENT
I intend to withdraw from Iraq, and invade some real pussies... like Spain.
Hi there, I'm like George Bush, only less intelligent
I will never forget the terrible events of 9/12.
Now I know what you're thinking, a Sagitarrius for President? But I have Leo rising.
Yes, I've smoked marijuana, and I inhaled... just now.
There are no skeletons in my closed, just a black latex dildo suit.
I would like you to call me... President... Showaddywaddy
I have a magnificent war record - it's 'Pipes Of Peace' by Paul McCartney.
Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail.
UNLIKELY LINES TO HEAR ON A SCIENCE PROGRAMME
After working on the equation for thirty years, Professor Stephens made an incredible discovery - his wife had left him and he'd wasted his life.
The trade in human organs is shocking - this kidney cost me nearly a tenner.
Today we're going to be making a bomb using chapatti flour and hydrogen peroxide.
Which is faster, a dog or a crossbow bolt?
And that's how God created the world in seven days.
I escaped from a petri dish! What am I?!
Hello. My name's Jade Goody.
And that is how we can prove that aluminium is gay.
A cure for acute depression may be just around the corner. Oh here it is - a train.
And, as the mighty lion shakes the life out of this tiny gazelle, I feel strangely horny.
Well, that test was conclusive - cats have one life.
UNSETTLING THINGS TO HEAR FROM THE COCKPIT OF A PLANE
Thank God we're flying, I'm too pissed to drive.
We're about to experience a little bit of turbulence, and then a lot of falling.
This is the captain speaking, we're out at the moment, please leave a message after the tone.
Don't panic, just think of it as landing more vertically than normal.
Help me with my seatbelt Abu, I can't do it with this damn hook.
OK Captain Thomas, when I tap the windscreen, I want you to stop.
Wagner's 'Flight of the Valkyries' from 'Apocalypse Now'
If you look out over the right wing, you'll see the burning remains of the left wing.
