You know your a cyclist when......

[feetabix]

........you go out with an oily chain ring print on your shirt, and are secretly quite proud of it.......

 

[jimo746]

I usually wear an oily chain tattoo on my calf, I have no idea how it keeps getting there, one minute I check and it's clean, next minute my missus is berating me for goig out "looking like a tramp"

 

[tintin40]

you have the water spray staines up the middle of your back from the back wheel

 

[technodup]

... drivers chase you to traffic lights, get out, shout a lot and attempt to push you off your bike.

And all because a well aimed glob of spit hit the inside of his windscreen whilst double parked at the ATM. Lazy, inconsiderate ****.

Best. Fluke. Ever.

 

[kaiser]

...you have no qualms about blasting the contents of your your nose out under your arm walking along the street

 

[jamabikes]

...no one likes you but you don't care.

 

[feetabix]

........next to the plant on the kitchen window sill lies a schraeder valve cap.......

 

[JohnH]

...a pretty girl with golden skin and long legs rides past -- and you're squinting at the rear mech on her bike...

 

[technodup]

...a pretty girl with golden skin and long legs rides past -- and you're squinting at the rear mech on her bike...

I've never seen a nice girl on a bike. And if I did I'd think she was odd. Any woman I've ever known would be too worried about their hair being messed up or nails getting chipped to get on a bike. Which is the way it should be.

Women on bikes tend to be crusty student lesbian types. And I've no interest in them thanks very much.

 

[legrandefromage]

...you have 9 bikes in the garage.