**** wasnt allowed, neither was **** and a combination of ********, *******, ************, well I may as well have just ****** a ***** in a donkey if I was to get away with that!
also tried **********, no
next up was ************* - not a chance!
I finally settled on ****************************************-****
but it was too long
A great search was made involving the children pf the world and a Blue Peter appeal via television and the then burgeoning internet. Bottle tops were collected, then thrown away because it wasnt about the bottletops - although some kid in somewhere unpronounceable and with far too many consonants got to keep the iron lung.
Which was nice.
After that failure, a tombola and raffle was held at the Brunswick Festival in Hove (Not Brighton). A Mrs. Sprogington-Sprogington Smythe of Palmeira Square (and the Portslaid Sprogingtons, not to be confused with the Shoreham Sprogingingtons - never EVER mention the Shoreham Sprogingtons) won. Unfortunately her entry was so rude it had to be disqualified - however it went on to win the award for the best use of the word '****' in a sentence (Gawd bless you Douglas Adams)
The Sun newspaper stepped in with a campaign on page 3, this time not a single entrant due to a distracting advert by The Furniture Village involving huge knockers and something about knocking on wood.
With the budget running seriously low, a final attempt was made utilising the local paper round with a leaflet drop, The resulting chaos made the local news, Look East reporters were almost jostled in the mele (damn that Kevin, I'd paid for him to jostle that pretty blonde reporter, not take her down the pub!) leaving the presenters shocked at the use of language in the report. If it hadnt have been for a steady headed BBC minion, it could have made the national news and caused yet another scandal for the local Conservative MP - that hamster walked with a permanent limp for the rest of its days (which wasnt very long, that infamous 'incident' that splashed across the media involving The Tube, the Hamster and the MP)
Anyway, totally exhausted by the whole process of just trying to source a user name and with each attempt resulting in more and more bizarre incidents, I just settled on my old MSN Chat Room one...