Ugliest bike on Ebay??

[novocaine]

also "very original condition". errrrr, no, no it's really not.

 

[benjabbi]

also "very original condition". errrrr, no, no it's really not.

Probably should be: Original, as found by me last week, buried in the back of the shed of the house I've just moved into. Internet says it's worth a few quid so I'll chance it.

 

[TreaderSteve]

Like watching a buffalo hump a camel or somesuch?

 

[sheppf1000]

God god all those angles!!!!

 

[PhillB]

I win!

https://www.ebay.com/itm/124334512487?
The cable-lock wrapped around the top tube just screams out "sophisticated hipster biker dude", while the rusty one-piece crank, kickstand, and rear rim lends the seller an air of experienced world traveler and bon vivant (Seller probably even wears his baseball cap backwards and his collar popped when talking to the chickies). Reflectors and more-than-ample saddle indicate that seller makes no compromises for safety and comfort, whereas lack of fenders indicate seller is a bad boy living on the edge - an outcast who's no slave to peer pressure. Of course, self-proclaimed cool people everywhere agree that the 180-degree skewed angle of the steering while parked garners looks of jealousy and admiration from men and wide-eyed stares and whispers amongst women regarding the correlation between the angle of a man's steering and the extent of his biological dimensions.

Then, of course, there's the issue of the dork disk..............need I say more?

Yeah, I can definitely see this leading the pack at the tour.


View attachment 852609

I am particularly drawn to the fact that whilst the front rim looks quite clean, the rear rim is as rusty as....yet, and YET!, the dork disk is pristine...what dark forces are at play?

 

[incorrigible]

I am particularly drawn to the fact that whilst the front rim looks quite clean, the rear rim is as rusty as....yet, and YET!, the dork disk is pristine...what dark forces are at play?

I'm guessing it was parked outside in the shade, thus the moisture afffected the rear rim (steel) but not the front one (aluminum), and the shade prevented the dork disk and the reflectors from "yellowing" in the sun's UV rays, but again, that's just my guess.

At this rate, I'm also guessing that King Kong couldn't pull that seatpost free from the seat tube even if Godzilla was simultaneously pulling back on the frame.

 

[Twozaskars]

I guess from looking at the state of the rest of it including that one-piece crank, that the front wheel has been swapped for something non-original, good how it’s only held on with one nut too.

 

[incorrigible]

I guess from looking at the state of the rest of it including that one-piece crank, that the front wheel has been swapped for something non-original, good how it’s only held on with one nut too.

......reminds me of a guy I knew in high school..........."Ol' One nut", we used to call him...........He was a good guy, but he was always complaining about the standover height on bikes.

In any case, good catch there, Twozaskars, although in this case it's not a nut, it's a bolt. If it were actually only a single nut holding the front wheel on, that would definitely be impressive!
From this I think we can conclude that the only thing that's really holding this bike together is rust, and lots of it.



Then, of course, there's the "Bike will be taken apart for shipping".......

.....I'm afraid not...

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but (1) it won't be taken apart and (2) it won't be shipped.

(1) After King Kong and Godzilla give up on the seatpost, they're going to have an equally unproductive, frustrating time with the stem and the fork steerer tube being irreversibly fused to each other as well as to the inside of the head tube, ie.e, it can't be taken apart without a cutting torch. Even removing the front-wheel-and-single-bolt assembly from the fork will be an onerous task due to the sheer tenacity of the rust that's keeping it in place.

(2) It's not going to be shipped because nobody is going to buy it.

It can't be left out for trash collection because even garbage men and bike thieves have standards.

Seller either has to live with it, or take it on a long drive far, far away and abandon it, and hope and pray to the stars above that it doesn't re-appear at his doorstep the next day because some good samaritan returned it with a note on it explaining how he noticed that the owner forgot his bike that "fell off" his vehicle and tumbled down a steep cliff into a raging river as he drove away.

My heartfelt recommendation: find an active volcano, throw it in, and run.

 

[trailwright]

I guess from looking at the state of the rest of it including that one-piece crank, that the front wheel has been swapped for something non-original, good how it’s only held on with one nut too.

Quick release (very)

 

[bikeworkshop]

The RH leg of the Girvan has had a hole drilled in it too. Unless that's factory spec.

Just one side.

Why would you do that?
Was it to drain the "fork oil" ?

We used to do this to "refresh" leaky non-servicable motorbike shocks.
Drill a hole, put in some fresh oil, (or just oil anyway) then screw in a self-tapper to seal.
Hey presto, another few days of damping

probably didn't work here