Top of the range

[bikeworkshop]

"Easy fix if you've got the tools"
... usually a stuck seatpost or stripped fork or bb thread

 

[inpenem]

"Ridden by a girl", usually seller means no heavy loads or hard riding, but actually it means no maintaince at all.

 

[Swelo]

“Steed” and “stable” references.
“Vintage” as a euphemism for old, used, and/or in need of repair.
“Ready to ride” followed by a negating statement ranging from “just needs air in the tires” to “just needs new tires.”

 

[CassidyAce]

'Mounting bike': Makes it sound like it belongs on a stud farm for bicycles. I've got enough bikes as it is without them procreating in the garage.

'Future classic': Of course it is, Nostradamus. What told you that? The tea leaves?

'I know what I've got': Yep. They're called 'delusions'.