Sorry in advance.....

[warpedboy2]

Someone told me if you smack a fish before frying it, the meat will taste fresher.
What a load of codswallop.

Why did the Romanian stop reading for the night?
To give his Bucharest.

I work in McDonald's and a customer was rude to me today, so I got him back by not putting any Coke in his drink.
Just ice was served.

I ate a couple of Scotch eggs earlier.
The nurse in the Aberdeen fertility clinic looked horrified.

My county council has banned all carnivals in the area until further notice.
It's so unfair

 

[Alison]

:facepalm: Do you have your coat to hand

Alison

 

[RobMac]

 

[Iwasgoodonce]

Milton Jones?

 

[Alison]

Milton Jones?

Can't cope with Milton Jones

Alison

 

[sylus]

I did hear Al and Simon Cowell are entering into a partnership for a new show called.....Al Idol

Is this thread the auditions?

 

[dyna-ti]

oh dear

 

[warpedboy2]

I am partial to Milton Jones. My favourite gag by Milton....

Words are very powerful things, for example, a single letter H can attract helicopters. It has to be a big one though. I wasted weeks watching that hot tap.

 

[Alison]

It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.

"Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in and eat dinner with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon back up."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Nonsense, come on!" the farmer insisted.

"Well, okay," the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbour said with a smile. "By the way, where is your Pa?"

"Under the wagon."

Merry is the joke

Alison

 

[David B]

I did hear Al and Simon Cowell are entering into a partnership for a new show called.....Al Idol

Didn't know anything about that myself, although still in the entertainment world I did recently read about an orchestra conductor whose GP signed him off work for a few weeks. Apparently it was due to excessive Strauss in the workplace.



David