Some one tell me a really good joke.

[J i m s t e r]

Young Gordon bought a horse from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

The next day he drove up and said: "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The horse has died."
Gordon replied: "Well, then just give me my money back."

"I can't do that," the farmer said. "I've already spent it."

"OK," said young Gordon. "Just bring me the dead horse."

The farmer said: "What on earth are you going to do with him?"

"Raffle him off," replied young Gordon.

"Raffle him off? You can't raffle off a dead horse!"

"Oh yes I can. Just watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later, the farmer met Gordon and asked: "What happened with that dead horse?"

Gordon said: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 apiece and made £998."

"Didn't anyone complain," the astonished farmer asked.

"Only the guy who won," young Gordon replied, "so I gave him his £2 back."

Gordon grew up and became prime minister. This is how he figured out how to "bail us out".

 

[tintin40]

What will they put Jade Goodie's ashes in?????







A Goodie Bag

 

[albash82]

heh

 

[tintin40]

Whats a tyre & jade goody got in common?




once they go bald they dont last long!!!

 

[cchris2lou]

Jade is back next week on live TV in

Most Haunted .

 

[TheGreenRabbit]

I was going to go down to London to protest today, but I can`t because I have a job and shower daily.

Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.

Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.

 

[Raymond_mole]

I've just bought Jade Goddies new calander

It only goes up to april!

Jades new film will be out shortly-

1 Wedding 4 weeks and a Funeral

How do you turn a dog into a fox??

10 Pints does it for me..

 

[Andy R]

Whats a tyre & jade goody got in common?




once they go bald they dont last long!!!

Mmmm - funny? I don't think so..........

 

[dyna-ti]

Man goes to a brothel requesting something different. The madam sas that they have animals, you could get it on with a sheep. sounds good to the man , he pays goes to the room strips down, spends 45 minutes chasing the sheep around the room before giving up. He goes downstairs requests a refund. The madam says no refunds but come back tomorrow she'll make it up to him. He returns the next day she offers him to watch the show of the day he agrees goes to a room and watches a girl trying to have sex with a goat. He leans over to the guy next to him and says "can you beleive this ?" the guy replies this is nothing you should have been here yesterday and seen the guy and the sheep.
------------------------------------------------------
And
------------------------------------------------------
Harry came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep sleep.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said,
"You died in your sleep, Harry."

Harry was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be!
I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"

St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back:... as a chicken."

Harry was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, eh? How's your first day here?"

"Not bad," replied Harry the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster.
"Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"

"Never," said Harry. "Well, just relax and let it happen."

Harry did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Harry was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit, Harry! Wake up. You're shitting on the bed!"
------------------------------------
And
------------------------------------
It's not a real dog.

If i can kick it more than twenty yards.
----------------

Sorry about that last one,not everyones taste

 

[P20]

The makers of the Flintstones program are trying to sell the show to the countries of the middle east. Most of them don't get the humour, but the people of Abu Dhabi do