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These rare earth type elements are what Retrobike and many other hobbyist sites yearn for with members going to extreme lengths to gather such minute quantities (ha! 'tities'! <sniggers>)
Lets start with:
Explodium (ecks-splode-ee-umm)
Hope hubs - this common aluminium derived alloy can be found elsewhere but for the moment we will concentrate on its use in the Hope hubs of the 1990's. Just about every hub with the Ti centre has been made with this material. It should be handled with care as just about any wheel laced up to these hubs will give out with a mournful but noticeable 'ping'. If found in the shed/ hallway/ heated garage (gits) take a picture before it inadvertently explodes (usually caused by an ant fart or light breeze)*
Availability: can still be found in garages and sheds, once common but now getting quite hard to find
*Often mixed with the rarer 'Explotanium' used with anything boutique and touted as titanium (a very confused material, alloyed to make 'smugtanium'} leading to cracks in strange places.
Not to be confused with 'Manitoumium' (man-itt-oo-ee-umm):
A possibly even rarer element as it was used by just the one manufacturer - rumour has it that all supplies of Manitoumium were contaminated by Explodium leading quite large outbursts of expletives as the headtubes or stays or both would let rip with a loud 'sploink' - do not touch with bare skin or even bear skin
Availability: down to single figures
Smugtanium (smug-tane-eee-ummm)
Often confused with 'Smugaminium' but not in the same league - owners will often expose their great superiority of both metal and ownership - rarely cracks but hugely expensive
Availability: only found in heated triple garages or expansive open plan living rooms
Smugaminium (smug-aa-min-ee-ummm)
Exclusive to Klein, mostly found in garish colour schemes
Relatively stable but it has been found that long term exposure to their brightly coloured paintwork leads to a sense of superiority and self aggrandisement - symptoms of which are very similar to the owners of Smugtanium but with more powerful feelings. Can lead to offensive forum postings
'Post Trek' owners often think that they have a full Smugaminium frame but that is known as 'Fools Smugominium' - Smugominium being the second most common form of alloy used in the cycle industry, easy to use, easy to manipulate - and thats just the owners (Steelisrealiuminium being the most common)
Availability: heated garages, self build homes, converted oil rigs, Bond Villain hideouts, product placement in American sitcoms
Obsoletium (ob-so-leet-ee-ummmmm)
Now this one is special. This is a material that was once common but has simply vanished. Usually made for a very short period by Mavic or Campagnolo along with a slew of short lived Italian component manufacturers from the mid 1980's to the early 1990's. The parts made from this material simply vanished from the face of the earth. Their often well publicised re-appearances on the internet have been found to be fakes or reproductions or simply 3d printed.
See also: ' New Old Stock White Onza Porcupine' tires
Availability: Not a chance, doesnt exist, not even owners after long term exposure to Smugaminium in a high fever can claim to have any. Forget about it, in fact, go and make a cup of tea and think about something else
And now a note on 'Unobtanium'
Simply put, Unobtanium is everywhere, sheds, kitchen drawers, attics, back of the sofa etc. Its what is mistakenly put away as something valuable when the very process of 'putting it away' makes the item itself rare and unobtainable. Its a self fulfilling prophecy, the more that gets put away, the more unobtainable it becomes. Every now and again an item will pop up leading to a furious bidding war and an often ludicrous price - only for hundreds of identical items to suddenly appear at 'buy it now' prices that are simply laughable. Those more experienced can often spot the Unbotanium as the adverts have been up for years on a continuous loop
Availability: You will trip over some on the next visit to the shed
About the Author: LGF can often be found writing private messages to forum users about chickens even those that innocently ask about the availability of a for sale item. He lives in a house and collects dust
Lets start with:
Explodium (ecks-splode-ee-umm)
Hope hubs - this common aluminium derived alloy can be found elsewhere but for the moment we will concentrate on its use in the Hope hubs of the 1990's. Just about every hub with the Ti centre has been made with this material. It should be handled with care as just about any wheel laced up to these hubs will give out with a mournful but noticeable 'ping'. If found in the shed/ hallway/ heated garage (gits) take a picture before it inadvertently explodes (usually caused by an ant fart or light breeze)*
Availability: can still be found in garages and sheds, once common but now getting quite hard to find
*Often mixed with the rarer 'Explotanium' used with anything boutique and touted as titanium (a very confused material, alloyed to make 'smugtanium'} leading to cracks in strange places.
Not to be confused with 'Manitoumium' (man-itt-oo-ee-umm):
A possibly even rarer element as it was used by just the one manufacturer - rumour has it that all supplies of Manitoumium were contaminated by Explodium leading quite large outbursts of expletives as the headtubes or stays or both would let rip with a loud 'sploink' - do not touch with bare skin or even bear skin
Availability: down to single figures
Smugtanium (smug-tane-eee-ummm)
Often confused with 'Smugaminium' but not in the same league - owners will often expose their great superiority of both metal and ownership - rarely cracks but hugely expensive
Availability: only found in heated triple garages or expansive open plan living rooms
Smugaminium (smug-aa-min-ee-ummm)
Exclusive to Klein, mostly found in garish colour schemes
Relatively stable but it has been found that long term exposure to their brightly coloured paintwork leads to a sense of superiority and self aggrandisement - symptoms of which are very similar to the owners of Smugtanium but with more powerful feelings. Can lead to offensive forum postings
'Post Trek' owners often think that they have a full Smugaminium frame but that is known as 'Fools Smugominium' - Smugominium being the second most common form of alloy used in the cycle industry, easy to use, easy to manipulate - and thats just the owners (Steelisrealiuminium being the most common)
Availability: heated garages, self build homes, converted oil rigs, Bond Villain hideouts, product placement in American sitcoms
Obsoletium (ob-so-leet-ee-ummmmm)
Now this one is special. This is a material that was once common but has simply vanished. Usually made for a very short period by Mavic or Campagnolo along with a slew of short lived Italian component manufacturers from the mid 1980's to the early 1990's. The parts made from this material simply vanished from the face of the earth. Their often well publicised re-appearances on the internet have been found to be fakes or reproductions or simply 3d printed.
See also: ' New Old Stock White Onza Porcupine' tires
Availability: Not a chance, doesnt exist, not even owners after long term exposure to Smugaminium in a high fever can claim to have any. Forget about it, in fact, go and make a cup of tea and think about something else
And now a note on 'Unobtanium'
Simply put, Unobtanium is everywhere, sheds, kitchen drawers, attics, back of the sofa etc. Its what is mistakenly put away as something valuable when the very process of 'putting it away' makes the item itself rare and unobtainable. Its a self fulfilling prophecy, the more that gets put away, the more unobtainable it becomes. Every now and again an item will pop up leading to a furious bidding war and an often ludicrous price - only for hundreds of identical items to suddenly appear at 'buy it now' prices that are simply laughable. Those more experienced can often spot the Unbotanium as the adverts have been up for years on a continuous loop
Availability: You will trip over some on the next visit to the shed
About the Author: LGF can often be found writing private messages to forum users about chickens even those that innocently ask about the availability of a for sale item. He lives in a house and collects dust
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I'm not clever enough to add to the other parts haha
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+ 
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