I did have 99% of a retrobike due to a stripped thread on a brake lever, but am pleased to say that thanks to a helicoil I am back up to 100%. The NOS has been test run, so it is all now nearly NOS and when I tell you it is NOS on Sunday, I will in fact be telling fibs. Childish car park skids on NOS green Wildslippers do rip the knobs off. Kids- you have been warned! Tintin will be leading the prologue sprint to the tower, where he will commence to eat cake. Others will be encouraged to order herbal tea or a skinny late in a braying voice while wearing red trousers. Once the cake is consumed, the group will advance ten yards before splitting into those taking the easy route and those taking the steep route. One member of the group will at this point be required to attempt the steep route on a fully rigid bike and cause his/ her forks to collapse. Group A will shortly afterwards find themselves beside a cricket pitch. Group B will find themselves lost in the woods. The rest of the ride should largely follow the same format unless it rains in which case total carnage will reign due to the combination of crap tyres and wet tree roots. At lunch break I will attempt to eat somebody else's meal. If I have already crashed in the woods, I will be asking for a volunteer to deputise for me in my absence. See you Sunday.