Is the age of chivalry dead??
- Thread starter Alison
- Start date
the other week we stopped to help a woman who had a bike puncture. We were told in no uncertain terms not to be so patronising and assume all women are dizzy mechanical-no-knows.
We kinda scuttled off with our feathers ruffled. Dont know if I'd stop again (well I might if she looked perplexrd/distressed, but it would be a considerd action)
We kinda scuttled off with our feathers ruffled. Dont know if I'd stop again (well I might if she looked perplexrd/distressed, but it would be a considerd action)
grahame
Senior Retro Guru
pigman":3t89sxe0 said:
A bit like what happened to me a few months ago. I held a door open for a woman to be admonished with "I hope you didn't hold that door open because I'm a lady!", to which (I'm proud to say) I responded with "No, I'm holding it because I'm a gentleman."
I would stop, ask if everything was OK and if the person needed help. If they said they were OK, I'd then leave.
20 Years ago I would have stopped. Now if a single woman breaks down and clearly needs help, in the back of my mind I worry what they are thinking i.e. why is a man stopping where a single distressed female is.
The culture we are in now see's opening a door for a woman likely to get a rebuke such as thank you I can do it myself perfectly well thank you I am not a defenseless woman.
I must admit when the roles where clearer then showing manners and dignity were easier to do without having your head bitten off
The culture we are in now see's opening a door for a woman likely to get a rebuke such as thank you I can do it myself perfectly well thank you I am not a defenseless woman.
I must admit when the roles where clearer then showing manners and dignity were easier to do without having your head bitten off
suburbanreuben
Old School Grand Master
grahame":1rvs3jx3 said:
Excellent!
suburbanreuben
Old School Grand Master
The ones that object to having courtesies shown to them are usually not used to it, hence their displeasure when it does happen.KDM":a3mkox0j said:
I wonder why they don't often get their share of gentlemanly behaviour....?
No prizes; just for fun.
KDM":3rbomxz6 said:
To be fair I just hold the door open for everyone regardless of their gender. Can't remember being rebuked either but maybe Midland women are just polite (or maybe I just repulse to the point that people feel the need to get away).
velomaniac
MacRetro Rider
Helping folk out is a good thing to be encouraged but every car driver should be able to change their own cars wheels if need be regardless of gender etc.
If someone comes to help you out then thats great but no one should expect it. Chivalry is not dead but time is pressing and its a balancing act these days.
If someone comes to help you out then thats great but no one should expect it. Chivalry is not dead but time is pressing and its a balancing act these days.
It's a funny old kettle of fish, this.
As an Englishman in a country where women have been "liberated" since before WWII, Danish women expect you to be more of a gentleman than Danish men. My ex wouldn't date Danes as she found them too impolite and when I met her, my wife-to-be was over the moon to find out that I was English and maybe one day would live up to her Colin-Firth-related fantasies. (Yeah, right as if).
Basically, what I'm saying (I think) is that many women today - even the keepers - seem to want to have their cake and eat it. In my next life, I think I'll be gay -if I remember, that is.
However, I always hold doors open for people, regardless of gender. I let people in the supermarket queue if they have little in their baskets and I have a trolleyful. I drive considerately. I stop up and ask if a fellow cyclist needs help if they seem to be having technical problems. Danish people never do this. Well hardly ever. But on the other hand - they don't expect it either. Win win as you get twice the appreciation and make someone's day twice as much.
As an Englishman in a country where women have been "liberated" since before WWII, Danish women expect you to be more of a gentleman than Danish men. My ex wouldn't date Danes as she found them too impolite and when I met her, my wife-to-be was over the moon to find out that I was English and maybe one day would live up to her Colin-Firth-related fantasies. (Yeah, right as if).
Basically, what I'm saying (I think) is that many women today - even the keepers - seem to want to have their cake and eat it. In my next life, I think I'll be gay -if I remember, that is.
However, I always hold doors open for people, regardless of gender. I let people in the supermarket queue if they have little in their baskets and I have a trolleyful. I drive considerately. I stop up and ask if a fellow cyclist needs help if they seem to be having technical problems. Danish people never do this. Well hardly ever. But on the other hand - they don't expect it either. Win win as you get twice the appreciation and make someone's day twice as much.
Nicely said.
(And btw, to the OP: changing wheels can be made much easier using the appropriate tools - carry a trolley jack and a breaker bar and it takes waaaaaaaaaaaay less than 45mins - those stupid fiddly things they chuck in the emergency kit are useless for most people. )
(And btw, to the OP: changing wheels can be made much easier using the appropriate tools - carry a trolley jack and a breaker bar and it takes waaaaaaaaaaaay less than 45mins - those stupid fiddly things they chuck in the emergency kit are useless for most people.
)
