I lost my soulmate.
- Thread starter addicted
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moonlite
Kona Fan
Very sorry to hear it mate. There are lots of overused words which I'll avoid -- people's intentions are good but we lack the vocabulary.
It's so cruel to lose someone in this way but to me the key is not to dwell on the 'why'. I don't think there's ever a satisfactory explanation -- no-one deserves it, it's not a judgement or a punishment for who you are or decisions you may have made. It's just that life can be both beautiful and cruel.
I think it's great you've come here -- friends' company is a comfort and a distraction. Keep coming back and let us know how you're doing.
It's so cruel to lose someone in this way but to me the key is not to dwell on the 'why'. I don't think there's ever a satisfactory explanation -- no-one deserves it, it's not a judgement or a punishment for who you are or decisions you may have made. It's just that life can be both beautiful and cruel.
I think it's great you've come here -- friends' company is a comfort and a distraction. Keep coming back and let us know how you're doing.
Frankenorange
Orange 🍊 Fan
I haven't experienced anything like your loss, but I know way too much about dark places. Even when things get really bad please try and reach out to someone whether they are family, friends, people here, your doctor, or one of the many helplines. Check locally to see what is available in an emergency. Alcohol and drugs(prescribed/recreational) can feel like they help, but they are the equivalent of putting a band-aid on a compound fracture.
Talking and sharing is the best way and don't be afraid to cry. Do be careful of forums that are dedicated to this sort of loss as there are alot of weirdos out there preying on genuine people. Also; go out in the middle of nowhere and scream, shout and swear like a madman. You need to release your emotions in whatever way you can to keep the dark thoughts at bay.
Big hugs to you and stay strong.
Talking and sharing is the best way and don't be afraid to cry. Do be careful of forums that are dedicated to this sort of loss as there are alot of weirdos out there preying on genuine people. Also; go out in the middle of nowhere and scream, shout and swear like a madman. You need to release your emotions in whatever way you can to keep the dark thoughts at bay.
Big hugs to you and stay strong.
addicted
Retro Guru
Thank you guys for the kind words it does help.
So her name was Kat and she was a retrobiker. One of our first dates was a camping and biking excursion to the white mountains in Arizona. I knew she was the one for me when on one of our rides she crashed and went over the handle bars. Instead of inspecting her scrapes and bruises she inspected her 1995 GF Mt. Tam to make sure she hadn't damaged it. I was like wow this is my kind of girl and that's were it started with this truly amazing woman. I miss her...
So her name was Kat and she was a retrobiker. One of our first dates was a camping and biking excursion to the white mountains in Arizona. I knew she was the one for me when on one of our rides she crashed and went over the handle bars. Instead of inspecting her scrapes and bruises she inspected her 1995 GF Mt. Tam to make sure she hadn't damaged it. I was like wow this is my kind of girl and that's were it started with this truly amazing woman. I miss her...
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You have my deepest condolences. It must be very tough.
All I can say is grieve. Let it out. Talk about it. Find an outlet for your pain. Share your wonderful memories, and be grateful for the time you had together. It might not feel like it right now, but you were very lucky.
Let the love you had for each other carry you through the dark days ahead. Best wishes
All I can say is grieve. Let it out. Talk about it. Find an outlet for your pain. Share your wonderful memories, and be grateful for the time you had together. It might not feel like it right now, but you were very lucky.
Let the love you had for each other carry you through the dark days ahead. Best wishes
Yep, if she cared more about her bike than herself you definitely hit the motherlode with her. What a beautiful memory, and I bet you have many more.
Grief is something that only time can really heal, I know that doesn't help you when you're experiencing it, but take some comfort that it really will get easier.
Spankyfart
Marin Fan
I have nothing sensible to say without writing cloudy essays but I do know dark places very well, talking helps but I feel talking with even the best intentions can also do harm.
I wouldn't know what to do if I lost my g/f of almost 30 years (never married), or how I'd feel. But one thing I would personally do, is talk to a psychiatrist now and again. That's the best advise I can give.
Very sorry for your loss,.. Keep strong.
I wouldn't know what to do if I lost my g/f of almost 30 years (never married), or how I'd feel. But one thing I would personally do, is talk to a psychiatrist now and again. That's the best advise I can give.
Very sorry for your loss,.. Keep strong.
Suprachrgd82
GT Fan
Sorry to hear. I can’t fathom the despair as I love my wife dearly. But you are doing the right thing by reaching out to others. Please keep doing so to fill the emptiness. There’s obviously a bunch folks here that will lend an ear.
My heartfelt sympathy. My partner of 11 years living together and then 37 married died nearly 5 years ago. We were of an age where more expected and in some ways easier, but it is always hard.
I buried myself in the practicalities and post-funeral I took my Brompton on a train and rode by the sea in Wales and sat and looked at it. That of course was personal to me, but for you just DO something different that YOU want to do that is a break before a new life. Because it will be a new life.
Try to focus on the best memories of your life together but don't forget the future. Because there will be one.
That's enough from me, but if I am entirely open to DM if you should wish.
Look after yourself.
Kind thoughts are with you.
I buried myself in the practicalities and post-funeral I took my Brompton on a train and rode by the sea in Wales and sat and looked at it. That of course was personal to me, but for you just DO something different that YOU want to do that is a break before a new life. Because it will be a new life.
Try to focus on the best memories of your life together but don't forget the future. Because there will be one.
That's enough from me, but if I am entirely open to DM if you should wish.
Look after yourself.
Kind thoughts are with you.
