Ed has shared much in his recent Skills Guide series and I’m sure only modesty has prevented an exposition on this topic which I have been privileged to observe at close quarters.
Judging by the number of new names appearing on the site there is no shortage of eager converts to the world of Retrobike. But what of the unbeliever of the cycling community ?– the purchaser of the new bike? the ardent disciple of the latest technology? – such unpromising material presents a worthy challenge to our esteemed moderator and master of persuasion!
Here’s how it’s done- in five easy steps...........
Note that at no time does the victim realise that they are doing anything other than acting of their own volition as they slide helplessly down the slippery slope into the world of the Retrobike
Step 1 First select your victim – the work bike shed is a fertile hunting ground. Scan this regularly for a new purchase and track down the owner. Admire their acquisition - disguise any feelings of revulsion and fail to mention that their prized new Trek (for example) is considered to be the Ford Mondeo of the cycling world.
Step 2 Provide practical advice – many owners of new bikes will be unfamiliar with the simplest tasks of bike maintenance and be grateful for your offers to demonstrate the techniques. Even checking tyre pressures and mending punctures can be good first moves. Always show great interest in their cycling exploits especially if these consist of 10 miles round the block on the road! This flatters your victim and persuades them that they are rapidly becoming an afficionado of all things cycling!
NB – Introduce Retrobike at this point without comment and encourage them to visit the site just for general interest.
Step 3 Time now for the first retro move – introduce a suitable retro steed for them to buy that you just “happen” to have at home – be cagey about the age – ideally they should believe this might be almost new! Wait for reports that they have started riding it. At this point real skill is needed! Be prepared to spend considerable time on this stage. You need your victim to develop a healthy “hunger” for developing their bike.
Depending on their skill level, encourage the replacement of parts on the bike– offering to source suitable items from the Sale threads on Retrobike. Praise all efforts but be prepared to tighten bolts, adjust brakes and answer endless queries.
If you have spare tools, drop these on your victim’s desk from time to time as gifts, to encourage their developing interest . If their interest veers back to the non retro, corrective action may be needed. A simple but effective technique is to shake your head sagely from side to side and mutter “poor-very poor” repeatedly. Then gently divert them back to a sound retro alternative.
Step 4 –Now prepare your victim for their first build - being used to modern bikes they will express disbelief that such a thing is even possible, let alone pleasurable. So make it easy - find a frame they can’t resist – do the bidding on Ebay if necessary and store it at your house for them – this will give you time to assemble a tempting selection of parts from your store! If you have completed this stage skilfully your victim will be bubbling with enthusiasm , have signed up for Retrobike with a healthy collection of posts to their name and be fully converted to their new retro existence. They may even believe it is “cool” at this point and actively seek to convert others.
Step 5 – keep up the temptation – flag up further suitable frames and kit – encourage more builds. The more your victim invests both financially and emotionally at this stage the less likelihood there is of “backsliding” into the non retro world. Your job is almost done – time to scan the bike shed again!
Judging by the number of new names appearing on the site there is no shortage of eager converts to the world of Retrobike. But what of the unbeliever of the cycling community ?– the purchaser of the new bike? the ardent disciple of the latest technology? – such unpromising material presents a worthy challenge to our esteemed moderator and master of persuasion!
Here’s how it’s done- in five easy steps...........
Note that at no time does the victim realise that they are doing anything other than acting of their own volition as they slide helplessly down the slippery slope into the world of the Retrobike
Step 1 First select your victim – the work bike shed is a fertile hunting ground. Scan this regularly for a new purchase and track down the owner. Admire their acquisition - disguise any feelings of revulsion and fail to mention that their prized new Trek (for example) is considered to be the Ford Mondeo of the cycling world.
Step 2 Provide practical advice – many owners of new bikes will be unfamiliar with the simplest tasks of bike maintenance and be grateful for your offers to demonstrate the techniques. Even checking tyre pressures and mending punctures can be good first moves. Always show great interest in their cycling exploits especially if these consist of 10 miles round the block on the road! This flatters your victim and persuades them that they are rapidly becoming an afficionado of all things cycling!
NB – Introduce Retrobike at this point without comment and encourage them to visit the site just for general interest.
Step 3 Time now for the first retro move – introduce a suitable retro steed for them to buy that you just “happen” to have at home – be cagey about the age – ideally they should believe this might be almost new! Wait for reports that they have started riding it. At this point real skill is needed! Be prepared to spend considerable time on this stage. You need your victim to develop a healthy “hunger” for developing their bike.
Depending on their skill level, encourage the replacement of parts on the bike– offering to source suitable items from the Sale threads on Retrobike. Praise all efforts but be prepared to tighten bolts, adjust brakes and answer endless queries.
If you have spare tools, drop these on your victim’s desk from time to time as gifts, to encourage their developing interest . If their interest veers back to the non retro, corrective action may be needed. A simple but effective technique is to shake your head sagely from side to side and mutter “poor-very poor” repeatedly. Then gently divert them back to a sound retro alternative.
Step 4 –Now prepare your victim for their first build - being used to modern bikes they will express disbelief that such a thing is even possible, let alone pleasurable. So make it easy - find a frame they can’t resist – do the bidding on Ebay if necessary and store it at your house for them – this will give you time to assemble a tempting selection of parts from your store! If you have completed this stage skilfully your victim will be bubbling with enthusiasm , have signed up for Retrobike with a healthy collection of posts to their name and be fully converted to their new retro existence. They may even believe it is “cool” at this point and actively seek to convert others.
Step 5 – keep up the temptation – flag up further suitable frames and kit – encourage more builds. The more your victim invests both financially and emotionally at this stage the less likelihood there is of “backsliding” into the non retro world. Your job is almost done – time to scan the bike shed again!
