Wednesday 26th December 2012
The last half dozen years have seen a Boxing Day ride up the local woods and, Festive 500 or not, this year was going to be no different. Two years ago we faced thick snow and -15C; I rode little but enjoyed a few happy hours pushing my snow clogged cross bike. Last year was wet and muddy; I rode little but enjoyed a few happy hours pushing my mud clogged cross bike. The heavy rain in the last few weeks was going to lead to very muddy conditions under foot and, as I selected the cross bike again, I wondered what was going to happen this year. To paraphrase Bruce Willis in ‘Die Hard 2’ (incidentally the greatest Christmas movie ever) “different year, same shit”.
The sight of 15 people on a rag tag selection of bikes, some clad in onesies, must have been something to behold. Where the trails weren’t covered in thick, clinging mud, there was an evil crisscross of slippery wet roots across the singletrack like a snake’s wedding. Obviously I regularly made good on my feet – what is the point of a bike that you can carry if you don’t carry it at every opportunity? – and, once, plunged headlong through the brambles in a vainglorious attempt to gain some traction (tip: brambles can get very good traction on bare skin). After sessioning a sweet fireroad climb, we stopped for some festive snacks and the hipflasks of Pernod were passed around – for those wondering I can confirm that jelly babies and Pernod are a heady mix. Setting off again I felt well within the zone until I opted for a ‘creative’ line and ended up hub deep in a puddle. The fun was up, time to head for family commitments and tot up my mileage.
I’ve never been good at gauging distance covered offroad but, full of seasonal cheer, I decided that I’d ridden for two hours at 5 miles/hour. I then rounded this up to 15km (yet again with the marginal gains). This wasn’t going to do at all so I elected to ride to the pub and home, another generous 10 miles which, lavishly, became 15km. Not a bad total for a wet Boxing Day but still well, well short of hwta I needed. I needed to start showing some f***ing commitment.
Distance covered – 30km
Distance remaining – 370km
The last half dozen years have seen a Boxing Day ride up the local woods and, Festive 500 or not, this year was going to be no different. Two years ago we faced thick snow and -15C; I rode little but enjoyed a few happy hours pushing my snow clogged cross bike. Last year was wet and muddy; I rode little but enjoyed a few happy hours pushing my mud clogged cross bike. The heavy rain in the last few weeks was going to lead to very muddy conditions under foot and, as I selected the cross bike again, I wondered what was going to happen this year. To paraphrase Bruce Willis in ‘Die Hard 2’ (incidentally the greatest Christmas movie ever) “different year, same shit”.
The sight of 15 people on a rag tag selection of bikes, some clad in onesies, must have been something to behold. Where the trails weren’t covered in thick, clinging mud, there was an evil crisscross of slippery wet roots across the singletrack like a snake’s wedding. Obviously I regularly made good on my feet – what is the point of a bike that you can carry if you don’t carry it at every opportunity? – and, once, plunged headlong through the brambles in a vainglorious attempt to gain some traction (tip: brambles can get very good traction on bare skin). After sessioning a sweet fireroad climb, we stopped for some festive snacks and the hipflasks of Pernod were passed around – for those wondering I can confirm that jelly babies and Pernod are a heady mix. Setting off again I felt well within the zone until I opted for a ‘creative’ line and ended up hub deep in a puddle. The fun was up, time to head for family commitments and tot up my mileage.
I’ve never been good at gauging distance covered offroad but, full of seasonal cheer, I decided that I’d ridden for two hours at 5 miles/hour. I then rounded this up to 15km (yet again with the marginal gains). This wasn’t going to do at all so I elected to ride to the pub and home, another generous 10 miles which, lavishly, became 15km. Not a bad total for a wet Boxing Day but still well, well short of hwta I needed. I needed to start showing some f***ing commitment.
Distance covered – 30km
Distance remaining – 370km