Also, are you a chef? or possibly ex-SAS? I'm a chef and freelance Illustrator, (knives,hotpans,scapels,papercuts) and my hands have just about fewer scars!?
Its a Rhino beetle i think, i have seen them before. Completely harmless. I was sat on the veranda with my girlfriend once when i heard this almighty whack and it was one that had flown straight into the wall behind us!!
My god :shock: where ye been on holiday? that must be from like Africa or Australia or somewhere exotic.
Would look great mounted in a frame in your shed that Si