Well that was a fun day out. Weather ranged from quite pleasant and a bit too warm, to get me back to the car, but more on that later.
Despite Keith’s desperate WhatsApp message at 8.15 this morning begging me to cancel the ride, four hardy souls (only two of which were on time, I’ll let you decide which two were late because of fried eggs and an argument about lack of well fired rolls. [For Christ sake, only in Fife could the burnt ones be more highly prized than the properly baked ones] ) met at a deserted car park for a trip into the wilds of Dunkeld.
Despite the weather warnings of the last few days and pishing rain overnight, things were looking good.
Onwards and upwards, for thirty seconds until some daft twat realised he’d left his water bottle in the back of OCP’s car.
I think if we’d went yesterday when the snow was fresh, conditions may have been perfect but overnight rain and cold temps had turned it into a mix of slush and ice.
After stopping for a photo shoot at one of the many lochs, fragile egos were well and truly shattered as we were overtaken by two underdressed hill runners.
Just when we thought the wet snow was bad enough, we turned up the
track which was more like two side by side flowing canyons. With much morning from the Fifers we made it to the head of Loch Ordie, where the senior members of the rides prostrates were playing up. While the three of them were draining the tatties I took some photos.
Keith passed round the family pack of chocolate arseholes and we were on our way once more.
The shores of Loch Ordie are notoriously boggy, so I decided on the long way round which is normally better. Karma had other ideas, resulting in us sending Kenny ahead as ice breaker and depth finder. Despite OCP having a few lie downs along the way, we made it to the end of the Loch.
On the way round Keith and I discussed new bikes and selling current ones, when Keith told me his plan to sell his bike as a rolling chassis, but without the wheels. I (briefly) thought about enlightening Keith on what is mean by rolling chassis, but thought the subtle point about wheels being needed for the chassis to actually roll, might go over his head.
Forcing OCP past the point of no return, we headed up the increasingly snowier track to the path up and round the back of Deuchary Hill. Those that have done the ride before will remember this as the delightfully boggy one. Well imaging that boggy track with deep wet snow on it. Keith and I took the moral high ground and tried to ride it, while Kenny accepted his fate and just got on with walking it. We knew OCP was behind us and still alive, by his “colourful” description of what he thought of our current route. Stopping at the gate I assured the group we were near the top, forgetting all about rest of the climb I’d obviously blanked from my memory. (Not) Soon (enough for a certain member of the group) it was time to head downhill. With the snow thinning slightly, momentum was your friend, until it wasn’t and I ended up in a ditch. This and the spray from the track saw the last remnants of water proofing on my gloves, heroically give up.
Regrouping at the junction of the Mill Dam path, we gave the secret Singletrack a miss and headed down the main track. All was well until 50m from the end and in full sight of the two Range Rovers from the Landrover experience, OCP decided to have another wee lie down and almost fell into the beavers dam. ( Insert your own John went down on a beaver joke here
)
The decision of which direction to go next was made by the weather, when the heavens properly opened. Before I could give the second option after car park or …. , Kenny was off like a shot and half way home. Following some yoofs riding enduro bikes, Keith and OCP would have been down in Dunkeld before they knew it, were it not for the selfless patience of the gallant ride leader who waited at the final junction in the rain, to guide them safely back to the car park, where Kenny already had his car started and bike packed away in the back.
Against all the odds it was a fine ride and the remains of the tea in my travel flask from breakfast was even still hot.