Anti-theft parts bin sh*tter.

[Guinessisgoodforyou]

Perhaps the dissonance of something shiny might add to the overall sense of unease the bike will inspire.

What do you suggest? I could leave the saddle unscathed, and maybe use the bright orange ODI grips?

Plastic jesus on the stem, or hula girlie.

 

[CassidyAce]

Some good ideas coming in. I agree with no decals and roughing up the parts, that's the route I'll be taking.

Here's the bike as a rolling chassis, there is more to be done.

View attachment 939245

I sprayed the cassette and spokes with a rust effect rattle can, it's quite convincing at a glance.

Saddle is one I got with a donor bike, I have others but mostly decent brands in nice condition, this is a cheapo generic 2000's perch which I won't mind scuffing up. Doesn't show up in the pic but the seat post is very scratched and scuffed.

The UN71 was too short in the spindle for the 600 chainset, so I've gone with a new Tange, headset likewise is a NOS Ritchey. Hubs have been fully serviced so all the bearings are in great shape. It should be a really smooth ride. Tyres are newish, they are light and rapid with good puncture protection which is what I need for commuting.

I love the mud guards, steel, way too wide for the wheels, held on with cable ties, plenty of dinks and already rusting.

That looks bleeding awful!

Well done!

 

[Frankenorange]

Needs

A U-lock mount on the frame, but no u-lock.

Black, or white gaffa tape looking like it is holding the nose of the saddle together.

A brand new handlebar bell ('I heart cycling', My Little Pony, etc) bought as xmas gift by child.

2 rusty Jubilee clips holding something on. Maybe something that has been re-purposed.

Double lights either front or back. 1 held together with gaffa tape.

Comedy valve cap(s). Also new as gift to self when drunk on ebay. Maybe only 1 as the other got lost fixing a puncture.

Some spokey-dokeys and/or reflective tape

 

[Frankenorange]

Plastic jesus on the stem, or hula girlie.

Wobbly head dashboard Elvis

This parts bin sh!tter-anti theft bike thing is a whole genre of bicycle. It is finding exactly the right balance of everything so it doesn't look contrived, but like something which has evolved over decades of being the workhorse and shows all the moods of the owner. Love, hate, tiredness, financial woes, desperation, etc

Much harder in some ways to achieve than building a regular bike if you are trying to re-create the look.

 

[Panza]

I think those crank arms gives it away. You could remove the text on it with some 60 sandpaper. Maybe give the whole crank a once-over with it ? The cassette looks very rusty ! I was going to suggest a non-chrome cassette, but that one is great too.

 

[averagebiker]

Its easy. Buy an old Raleigh pioneer. No one nicks those and is my station bike of choice lol

 

[highlandsflyer]

Much harder in some ways to achieve than building a regular bike if you are trying to re-create the look.

True. Maybe easier to just nick one someone else has done.

 

[bikeworkshop]

Great thread

we all know of plenty of thieving incidents, some involving personal loss.

but 30 years talking to a couple of bristol bike theft victims a week tells me this:

Different kinds of thief look for different things...

Most ultimately want cash,
so will make an effort to steal a tidy "Specialized"
condition and branding are crucial even to the
"I dont want much for it mate" vendor.
Usually looking for things to steal where it's most abundant - city centres, sports centres, cinemas supermarket, college or hospital bike racks.


Sometimes a thief might identify valuable components or rarities, but a whole working tidy bike is an easier sale.

A few want parts for their own use, or to sell to mates. Often MTB, shiny, status brands. From a complete wheel to fix a puncture, up to fancy Sus forks to upgrade.

Some just want to ride home and dump the bike.

Some have psychiatric issues.
(My wife's bike once had its brake arms stolen when locked at the station)
Sometimes they just vandalise.
These guys love remoteness and night time.

These last 2 rarely have the tools to cut a decent lock, luckily, but sometimes target any rideable bike.

We all know most of this already, but it's handy to break it down.

When customers tell me "oh they can steal anything if they want to" i have to agree that you can't reduce the risk to Zero, but if you get closer, it ought to be Good As.

 

[averagebiker]

Its a bit like the old joke where, when 2 blokes are confronted by a lion, one starts putting on a pair of trainers. The second scoffs and points out he can't outrun a lion......to which the first replies "I only need to outrun you!"
In our case we just need to make our bikes look less desirable and/or more difficult to steal than the others in the rack. Sad but true.