Top of the range

[bikeworkshop]

"Easy fix if you've got the tools"
... usually a stuck seatpost or stripped fork or bb thread

 

[inpenem]

"Ridden by a girl", usually seller means no heavy loads or hard riding, but actually it means no maintaince at all.

 

[Swelo]

“Steed” and “stable” references.
“Vintage” as a euphemism for old, used, and/or in need of repair.
“Ready to ride” followed by a negating statement ranging from “just needs air in the tires” to “just needs new tires.”

 

[CassidyAce]

'Mounting bike': Makes it sound like it belongs on a stud farm for bicycles. I've got enough bikes as it is without them procreating in the garage.

'Future classic': Of course it is, Nostradamus. What told you that? The tea leaves?

'I know what I've got': Yep. They're called 'delusions'.

 

[moonlite]

'Male mountain bike' -- how can you tell? Does it have testicles?

 

[legrandefromage]

'Mechanical groupset '

What the actual <insert sweary content here> is going on with that? It's all Mechanical otherwise it wouldn't <insert even more sweary content here> work!!

<sweary content removed as it was far too sweary >

 

[BerthaPog]

'Mechanical groupset '

What the actual <insert sweary content here> is going on with that? It's all Mechanical otherwise it wouldn't <insert even more sweary content here> work!!

<sweary content removed as it was far too sweary >

Acoustic - <much sweary words omitted>

 

[Markybeau]

Expert opinion of an obvious non-expert. (I have been guilty of this.)

Small, medium, or large when it clearly isn't. Any use of these words for sizing.

Limited Edition

Special Edition

Team Edition

Unique

One off

Rare

Super rare - especially this.

All terms usually used by the ignorant, who likely call someone 'a legend' because they went to the tap for a glass of water. If you know you know, you don't need to be told. If you don't know, please, shut the **** up.

'Owned by / Ex team / blah blah guff...' with no supporting evidence whatsoever. Usually because some chancer convinced the seller with a tall story, and pulled their pants down. It 's quite sad sometimes when, because of the 'sunk cost fallacy', they remain convinced despite considerable evidence to the contrary.

 

[raidan73]

Limited/rare Joe Murray edition

 

[highlandsflyer]

"If it's still listed, it's still for sale."
"Sorry, it's sold."