Beware this Numpty in Lancaster

[Rich Aitch]

Here is a cautionary tale which happened to me this morning.
I locked my bike to the bike rack in Lancaster town centre and went into a shop. When I came out someone else had locked their bike onto the other side of the bike rack with a U-lock which was also- aha!- locked round my top tube. So I couldn't get my bike back. Needless to see the malfactor responsible was no where to be seen. As I had a train to catch to get to work I couldn't hang about all day waiting for this dreg of humanity to return and there was no way I was going to leave my bike in Lancaster all day [I've lived there and I know]. So I wrote a curt note giving him an ultimatum of twenty minutes or I would buy a hacksaw and saw through his lock in order to get my bike back. A bit of bluffing because I think a U lock might be too tough for a hacksaw but I knew that an Idiot wouldn't know that...
I called in to Lancaster Police Station, knowing that I would be wasting my time with them. Which it turned out I was, although I like to think that a brighter civilian clerk would have recognised the possibility of this been the opening gambit of an elaborate theft whereby the numpty secures the target bike with their own lock until such a time as they can break your own lock and make off with your bike; at their own convenience. It did at least let me stake my case for braking his lock without too many awkward questions.
Just as I was wondering whether I the hardware shop would be open yet a doddery old fool appeared, looked at my note discarded it as though it were written in a foreign language and started to unlock his [+ my] bike. So I got my showdown with him and got to see what he looks like. I didn't get an apology though but he wouldn't meet my eye so he clearly felt guilty and ashamed.

So two morals here. If you have to lock your bike up photograph it in situ with your own digital camera, have some way of proving that it is your bike, even if it is just a load of e-bay print outs to record that you brought it and if you are in Lancaster avoid locking your bike up in the vacinity of:
an old navy blue Dawes with black nylon panniers, a Union Jack decal above the BB on the seat tube and a womans saddle that is resting on the top tube. Rider is about 70, face like a spud, overweight, 5' 8” and mumbles in a Lanacaster accent.

 

[Rich Aitch]

Almost forgot; he doesn't wear a helmet and he locks his U lock on his handlebars. Says it all really!

 

[orange71]

The only accident I've had on road on a bike was in Lancaster - an old dear pulled out on me and I ended up sprawled over her bonnet (car type not hat type ).

Ahhh those were the days in Lancaster

 

[mrlee]

I hope it wasn't a "beetles" bonnet

 

[Drfunkenstein57]

Sounds just like the Lancaster that I live in...You wouldn't think we have not one, but two universities in Lancaster - yet we still get more than our share of village idiots
I never take any decent bike into Lancaster for just that reason, & just to add insult to injury, our local council runs a recycling scheme re-building old bikes then handing them out to the local down & outs, resulting in hordes of drunken or drugged up hoboes hassling everyone they pass riding back n' forth to Morecambe no-doubt to score some more drugs.
Don't get me wrong, I love living in Lancaster, but these type of incidents really do naff me off. If you ever cycle near Lancaster, stick to the surrounding countryside - which we do have plenty of, you are not missing much in the town centre, just an abundance of homeless junkies with free bikes - to get them to the nearest bargain booze quicker....Thanks for that Lancaster city council :shock:

 

[Nick C]

My father lives in Lancaster and I was just about to jump to his defence, thankfully though he's not this stupid!

 

[peteteamtig]

I too

I too was knocked off a bike in Lancaster, but not my mtb, oh no it was my new Triumph TT600.

An old fart who had glasses that can only be likened to ashtrays with straps on them came out with the classic line "I didn't see you mate" I replied with "no you didn't 'cos I'm Marvo the Magician" :roll:

When I explained to him he had just managed to write £6k of brand new motorbike he shrugged his sholders and replied "well your ok I'll get back to the wife."

At this point I really did want to happy slap him :x

A total DICKHEAD, he probably was a drugs and gang crime lord who was stoned off his own gear, whilst driving his "purple rinse bitch magnet micra."

Needless to say, I stay away from the place it's cursed.

 

[Uncle Buck]

Only time I've had a car broken into was outside the Castle - the tosser stole an EMPTY fuel can!

 

[Drfunkenstein57]

That's the roughest area of town, highest crime rate etc. Usually committed by scallies visiting their family & mates who are banged up in the prison, Lancaster castle.
Mostly they want to take a souvenir home (someone else's property) The post office nearest the motorway junction gets blagged regularly too, no doubt by the same scallies. Thankfully the prison has been closed down, just the "bad lads" young offenders farm at the far moor to contend with now. Don't leave your bikes or park your cars near there.
Also Lancaster is the home of two universities, where the students are viewed as an easy target. Watch your bike if you are studying in Lancaster.
Additionally, Lancaster, being an academic city, Attracts an usually high number of eccentric "egghead" numpties, like the one who started this string in the first place. We get more than our fair share of bohemian oddities to deal with.

Apologies to anyone reading who has got family banged up in Lancaster, some of the crime is done by locals, & some of it is defo "off comers" visiting & taking what they can on their way out.

 

[Rich Aitch]

Attracts an usually high number of eccentric "egghead" numpties, like the one who started this string in the first place. We get more than our fair share of bohemian oddities to deal with.

No the malfactor wasn't an academic by the way he gazed at my directive which I had left with him I'm not even sure he could read. Unless you mean me...